Think Like A Man Page #3

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That's just a guess.

- Who's counting?

- But you know what we should do?

We should take Cedric out

for celebration game night.

I can't do Sunday. This Sunday,

dinner with my ma. Little casserole action...

That's every Sunday.

I can't do Sunday either.

Jonah's got a violin recital.

My God, dude,

your kid has way too many recitals.

Wait a minute, hold on, wait.

Your son play the violin?

And the cello.

- Yo, he's gay.

- Playing the violin doesn't make him gay.

- Yes, it does.

- Name me one gay violinist.

- Your son.

Listen to this. Cedric is about

to be released from the shackles of Gail-Hell.

Forever. And we're about to miss it

for what? Another Jonah recital.

- By the way, he sucks.

- Really?

I'd expect that from them, not you.

- What do you mean, "them"?

- Like what, like black people or what?

Absolutely.

I don't get mad

because he's bold enough to say it.

Seriously, you have ears. Kid's tone-deaf.

This is his big solo.

They're playing the Gap Band.

You know, Dropped a Bomb on Me,

and he's got the last... "Baby!"

Look, I got a great idea.

I'll have my mom cook for us.

She'll make some chocolate chip cookies,

a big casserole. We'll do it the right way.

Mike, I almost punched you

in your damn face just now, man.

And I was gonna add a head butt.

I'm not going over your mom house

to celebrate my damn divorce party!

- We gotta eat. We can start there...

- I don't wanna eat with your mom!

I ain't going over his mom house.

Look, she just got the new Tyler Perry,

For Colored Girls on Blu-ray.

We'll just have a nice little fellas night,

a chill-out night.

Let me tell you what happens,

Janet Jackson gets AIDS at the end

and some crazy guy throws his kids

out the window. You good?

- Can we party now? Let's do it!

- I hate you.

- All right, put 'em up!

- Yes, sir.

Fine, I'm in, man.

Life is great, fellas. May it never change.

None of us could have known that

the first bomb had been dropped.

The war had been declared.

And hard-worn secrets had now fallen

into the hands of the enemy.

We had been betrayed by one of our own.

A man.

I'm talking about a man with a penis.

Someone who should know better.

And because of those actions,

a blitz was now on its way,

that would affect my entire Band of Brothers.

We have another question in the audience,

Steve.

Steve, I keep hooking up with guys

who don't want a relationship.

Why don't you stop hooking up?

Did you hear that?

Listen, men respect women

who have standards. Just get some.

Exactly.

Steve, I'm a partner in my law firm,

I own my own home,

but I've been single for three years.

Why can't I seem to find a man to live up

to my standards?

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