The Young Offenders Page #3

That's a good one!

Your mam's hilarious!

Aye, she's always

having a craic with you.

I know, but it's brilliant,

isn't it?

If you're gonna mindlessly

mimic someone,

could you at least pick someone

who's got half a f***ing brain?

Alright, mate?

Up yours, Mrs MacSweeney.

I hope you have a sh*t day.

Mam's always going on about

me mimicking Jock.

I mean, yeah, we have

similar haircuts,

but that's just the fashion.

Aside from that, we have our

own individual sh*t going on.

Jock's always coming up with

interesting things to do,

like...

Just got hold of

100 smoke bombs.

Wanna let 'em off in school?

And this was the best one yet.

That means that one bale

is worth 7 million euros.

- 7 million?!

- Each one, yeah!

Do you know how many zeros

that is after 7 million?

Hundreds!

Yeah, f***ing thousands of

zeros! It's so much money!

Ah, but what if

we get caught, though?

Do you not know the rules

that govern this country?

What?

When the forefathers

founded our country.

- Who were they?

- The forefathers.

Uh, St Patrick, St Brigid...

I dunno. Why are you asking me

these questions, like?

Ask the teacher that.

Basically, when our forefathers

founded this country, yeah,

they made rules, like

if you're younger than 16,

you're classified

as a young offender

which basically means

you can't get in trouble.

- So, we're just off the hook?

- For some reason,

they thought our brains

weren't developed enough,

that we wouldn't know

what we were doing or something.

- I know, stupid, isn't it?

- Spastics!

It's basically like

a get-out-of-jail-free card.

I'm trying to find something

wrong with your plan.

It's perfect. Think how easy

it'd be to find a bale as well.

Think how good you are

at finding stuff.

If I was looking for stuff...

stuff'll be found.

This time tomorrow,

we could be millionaires, like.

This is where we are, yeah?

That's you, that's me.

And this is where the cocaine

went overboard.

Jeez, boy,

that's f***ing miles away!

No, it's not, it's like that.

You do know it's not

actually that far, like.

I know that.

I know how maps work.

I'll nick us a couple of bikes,

we leave first thing

in the morning.

Uh, can we go the day after?

No, it has to be tomorrow.

The guards'll have it found

if we leave any later.

I have to cover Mam in the shop.

She's getting her tooth pulled.

You're actually telling me that

you're not gonna go get

7 million euros

'cause you're gonna work

in the fish shop for the day?

You could have everything

you ever wanted.

Mansions, cars, caves and tits.

I know, right,

but I promised her.

What excuse am I meant to give?

"Me and Jock are heading

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