The Yes Men Fix the World Page #2
It was time
to find out.
Thank you very much.
On May 1st we are releasing the beta version
of "Acceptable Risk",
the world's first
market-smart risk calculator,
to help you
find out instantly
what risks are
or are not acceptable
from a bottem-line
business perspective.
will Project X be
just another skeleton
in the closet,
something your company
comes to regret?
or will it be
a golden skeleton?
Complex case
is I.B.M.'s sale
of technology
for use in identifying
certain populations.
This was very bad,
of course,
but no one can deny
they were profitable.
And although the issue
remains a skeleton
in the closet,
in retrospect, it is
quite clearly golden.
Now you may have heard
the joke "How many Americans
does it take to screw
in a light bulb?
12--
One to climb the ladder
and 11 to file the lawsuit."
"What about Indians?
Oh, just one."
We would, of course,
never wish to imply
that an Indian life
is worth more or less
than another.
I myself believe
in the sanctity
of all life.
But the market has
its own logic,
and if we're willing
to live with it,
we must make the most
of the choices it makes.
Because if there's
one thing
that we at DOW want you
to remember today,
it's that
the only good skeleton
is a gold skeleton.
- Ooh!
Surprise.
This is Gilda.
She's the mascot
for the DOW
"Acceptable Risk" program.
Gilda is here
to basically tell you
that if you have
a skeleton in the closet,
it may not be
just a skeleton.
It could very well be a
golden skeleton as well.
And as you move
into a future
of ever-increasing
complexity
and ever-increasing
opportunities,
DOW Acceptable Risk
can assure you
that your touch
will be the Midas one.
And I'd like to finish
with a little poem.
"I'd rather be
handsome than homely,
I'd rather
be youthful than old,
If I can't have
a bushel of silver,
I'll do
with a barrel of gold."
So thank you very much.
We hope you come up
- and get a closer look.
- THANK YOU.
- Thanks a lot.
- Thank you. Thanks.
Thank you very much.
Here is a keychain.
Thank you very much.
Absolutely.
- Thank you.
- Unfortunately, I don't
have a card anymore,
- I ran out of them.
- Oh wonderful.
Yes, you were one
of the earlier speakers.
- Thanks.
- Yes. It's a pleasure.
- Thank you.
- It was very interesting.
Is it applicable--
Is your model applicable
to anything?
I mean, can we use it
in risk management?
Oh, absolutely.
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
I'll have our
risk-management guys
take a look at it,
'cause we do a lot
of interesting things.
Wonderful.
This is interesting.
- Thanks a lot.
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"The Yes Men Fix the World" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 17 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_yes_men_fix_the_world_21693>.
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