The Yes Men Fix the World Page #2

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the bankers think twice?

It was time

to find out.

Thank you very much.

On May 1st we are releasing the beta version

of "Acceptable Risk",

the world's first

market-smart risk calculator,

to help you

find out instantly

what risks are

or are not acceptable

from a bottem-line

business perspective.

will Project X be

just another skeleton

in the closet,

something your company

comes to regret?

or will it be

a golden skeleton?

Complex case

is I.B.M.'s sale

of technology

to World War II Germany

for use in identifying

certain populations.

This was very bad,

of course,

but no one can deny

they were profitable.

And although the issue

remains a skeleton

in the closet,

in retrospect, it is

quite clearly golden.

Now you may have heard

the joke "How many Americans

does it take to screw

in a light bulb?

12--

One to climb the ladder

and 11 to file the lawsuit."

"What about Indians?

Oh, just one."

We would, of course,

never wish to imply

that an Indian life

is worth more or less

than another.

I myself believe

in the sanctity

of all life.

But the market has

its own logic,

and if we're willing

to live with it,

we must make the most

of the choices it makes.

Because if there's

one thing

that we at DOW want you

to remember today,

it's that

the only good skeleton

is a gold skeleton.

- Ooh!

Surprise.

This is Gilda.

She's the mascot

for the DOW

"Acceptable Risk" program.

Gilda is here

to basically tell you

that if you have

a skeleton in the closet,

it may not be

just a skeleton.

It could very well be a

golden skeleton as well.

And as you move

into a future

of ever-increasing

complexity

and ever-increasing

opportunities,

DOW Acceptable Risk

can assure you

that your touch

will be the Midas one.

And I'd like to finish

with a little poem.

"I'd rather be

handsome than homely,

I'd rather

be youthful than old,

If I can't have

a bushel of silver,

I'll do

with a barrel of gold."

So thank you very much.

We hope you come up

- and get a closer look.

- THANK YOU.

- Thanks a lot.

- Thank you. Thanks.

Thank you very much.

Here is a keychain.

Thank you very much.

Absolutely.

- Thank you.

- Unfortunately, I don't

have a card anymore,

- I ran out of them.

- Oh wonderful.

Yes, you were one

of the earlier speakers.

- Thanks.

- Yes. It's a pleasure.

- Thank you.

- It was very interesting.

Is it applicable--

Is your model applicable

to anything?

I mean, can we use it

in risk management?

Oh, absolutely.

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

I'll have our

risk-management guys

take a look at it,

'cause we do a lot

of interesting things.

Wonderful.

This is interesting.

- Thanks a lot.

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