The Yes Men Fix the World
Are you ready?
I'm extremely happy to be here
because today is a very historic occasion
for all of us at DOW.
And I am grateful.
Let's walk that way.
I am grateful.
You're extremely pleased at the -
I'm extremely pleased
to be here.
Yes, extremely pleased
to be here, Steve.
This is my friend Andy...
- Hi. Bonjour.
- Bonjour, Monsieur.
...and my name is Mike.
Today I'm holding
the camera.
- And is it okay if--
- Yes. Sure.
- It's a good thing
to know.
- Exactly.
Andy is about to go
on live television
in front
of 300 million people.
They're gonna think
that he represents
one of the largest companies
in the world...
which he doesn't.
And that's why
he looks so nervous.
Should I typically
just look...
- Yeah.
- ...Right into
the camera? Okay.
Let's see here.
Andy's about to tell
a really big lie
which, unfortunately,
is gonna wipe
$2 billion
off one company's
stock price.
But before
I tell you this story...
- One minute.
- ...I guess
I should tell you
how we got ourselves
into this situation.
- Hi, my name's Mike.
- And I'm Andy.
And this is a movie
in which the two of us...
fix the world.
Aren't we fixing
the world?
- Yes.
- Well, come on.
- I'm scared.
Now what?
What we do is
pass ourselves off
as representatives
of big corporations
we don't like.
We make fake websites
then wait for people
to accidentally invite us
to conferences.
My name is Fred.
I'm from Halliburton.
My name is
Hanniford Schmidt.
I'm with the World Trade Organization.
I'm from Arizona.
My name is
Francisco Guerrero.
Orboloo Hochmanks.
Hundreds of oil
and gas executives
were duped today.
Louisiana officials
are taken for a ride
by the Yes Men.
- The Yes Men.
- The Yes Men,
antiglobalization activists
that travel the world
pulling pranks
at corporate events.
...a bunch of lefty
protestors...
...world-renowned
troublemakers...
Sick, twisted, cruel--
And what
they do is they like
to take absurd ideas,
in all seriousness.
The group has done this
many times before.
They have a track record
of getting away with it.
So how did this happen?
Equity International says
At home in our
underground headquarters,
it was time
to start planning
our next mission.
Tom Foreman:
Tens of thousands
of Iraqis have died.
Worries are growing
among top government
and business leaders
about the surge
of food riots--
Foreman:
Markets continue to shake.
Unemployment is up.
Oil companies reported
the history of the world.
But with so many things
going wrong,
who should
we go after next?
We got our answer when
a text message arrived.
DOW CHEMICAL had
a company that became
infamous in the 1980s.
You remember
the 1980s--
Challenger,
Chernobyl...
Bhopal.
Bhopal?
In 1984
when Union Carbide's
pesticide plant
at Bhopal exploded,
at least 5,000 people
died within weeks
and 100,000 more remain
sick for life.
It was the biggest industrial
disaster in history,
with the Indian government
for $470 million,
meaning most
of the victims got
less than $1,000 each.
Warren Anderson:
Now I just want to say to
Shareholders of Union Carbide
that I am confident
that the victims
can be fairly
and equitably compensated
without a material
adverse affect
on the financial condition
There was
little adverse affect
on the shareholders
but in Bhopal,
people continued to suffer.
When DOW announced
there was
finally hope for justice.
DOW said it would
compensate victims
of Carbide's past negligence
and promptly paid
over $2 billion...
...to 14 asbestos
plaintiffs in Texas.
DOW could do for Bhopal
what they'd done for Texas,
but we knew
they wouldn't.
So we decided
to do it for them.
We set up a fake
DOW Chemical website,
DowEthics.com,
and we waited...
- and waited...
...and waited.
- Then one day
we got our chance.
You have mail.
We'd just been invited
to a conference
on international finance.
Some of the biggest banks
These were the kind
like Union Carbide
and DOW do what they do.
"We're going to build
a shoddy plant
in an underdeveloped country
with a corrupt
legal system.
but we'll make
a lot of money."
And the bank
comes back and says,
"Great!
Sounds like a plan."
What could
we possibly do
to show bankers
what was wrong
with this logic?
So right now
I'm painting
Gilda
the gilded skeleton--
Actually,
the golden skeleton--
That we're going to use
in London at
Financial Services Conference
in just
a few short days.
The only good skeleton
is a gold skeleton.
In case Gilda
didn't scare them enough
we had a backup plan.
we rented a theatrical
pyrotechnics unit here
- so that we can...
- oh yeah, thank you.
...make a big puff of smoke...
- AH!
- Oh my God.
We are on our way
to a conference
and Erastus Hamm is
going to be speaking
at the conference
Our plan was to have
DOW demonstrate
for the first time ever
exactly how they calculate
Would this make
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"The Yes Men Fix the World" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 24 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_yes_men_fix_the_world_21693>.
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