The Witches of Eastwick

Synopsis: All three previously married but now single, best friends sculptress Alex Medford, cellist Jane Spofford and writer Sukie Ridgemont are feeling emotionally and sexually repressed, in large part due to the traditional mores overriding their small New England coastal town of Eastwick. After their latest conversation lamenting about the lack of suitable men in Eastwick and describing the qualities they are looking for in a man, mysterious Daryl Van Horne and his equally mysterious butler Fidel arrive in town. Despite being vulgar, crude, brazen and not particularly handsome, Daryl manages to be able to tap into the innermost emotions of the three friends, and as such manages to seduce each. In turn, the three women blossom emotionally and sexually. After an incident involving one of the town's leading citizens, the ultra conservative Felicia Alden, the three women begin to understand how and why Daryl is able to mesmerize them so fully. The three decide to experiment with some powers lear
Director(s): George Miller
Production: Warner Home Video
  Nominated for 2 Oscars. Another 5 wins & 10 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.5
Metacritic:
67
Rotten Tomatoes:
76%
R
Year:
1987
118 min
1,014 Views


1

You don't have to come

if you don't want to.

I want to, but I have

a million things to do first.

Mom, what's this?

- Peanut butter.

- Peanut butter and what?

Peanut butter and jelly.

What kind of jelly?

Zucchini jelly.

Five, six, seven!

How we doing?

We're doing fine, Walter.

I wish we could afford

to keep you full time.

So do I, especially now.

Hmm. ls the divorce final yet?

- Yes, today. Thank you.

- Hmm.

Let's put our heads together and

maybe we can work something out.

All right.

Uh, horns up.

One, two, three, four...

five, six, seven.

O beautiful for spacious skies

For amber waves of grain

For purple mountain majesties

Above the fruited plain!

America! America!

God shed his grace on thee

And crown thy good with brotherhood

From sea to shining sea!

Well, wonderful.

Thank you very much, Felicia.

We appreciate your taking the time

to be here with us today.

Ladies and gentlemen, a big hand

for our most prominent selectman...

or selectwoman or selectperson,

Felicia Alden.

Thank you, children and Mrs. Spofford.

I can see we have our work

cut out for us.

In these days of

disintegrating values...

and lost mores...

when our children

are exposed daily...

to the hazards of divorce, separation

and families torn asunder...

it's comforting to think back

to the days...

when a family like the Lenoxes

strove together.

Those values, embodied

in a man like Major Lenox...

They were men who labored

all their lives...

so their children would be

well-fed and clothed and educated.

The families endured great hardship...

Yet kept their honor...

their dignity and their faith in God.

We are the same people;

the same body, the soul...

the hands and the feet

of our fathers...

fighting the wars of modern vice.

What was it that tied

these people together?

What was it that made them...

not a loose gathering of individuals,

but a single bond?

That bond that held them together,

as it holds us together today.

That bond that has stood every test...

is found deep in our consciousness.

An abiding love of liberty.

For love of liberty, our forbearers...

colonies few in number and

with little to defend themselves...

fought the war for independence...

what was then the world's

most powerful empire.

For love of liberty...

those who came before us

tamed a vast wilderness...

and braved hardships...

Tamed a vast wilderness

and braved hardships...

which at times were

beyond the limit...

Braved hardships, which at times were

beyond the limit of human endurance.

Come on. Go with your morn. Go on.

Liberty must not be taken for granted.

We thank God for our blessings...

Oh, hi, come on in.

Janey, come on!

Do you believe it's raining?

Duh, no.

I mean, since this morning.

At least it shut Walter up.

The same boring, sanctimonious speech.

I thought he'd go on forever.

I was praying for something to happen.

- I was thinking the same thing.

- You were?

I was thinking we're all wet and

how nice it would be to just leave.

- Were you really?

- Yeah.

And then it rained.

He's a liar and a lech

and he deserved it.

No, I'm not talking about Walter.

Don't you think it's strange

that we were...

We were thinking the same thing

at the same time? So what?

It won't get us on David Letterman.

- I know, I...

- Let's just have a drink.

Good idea, Janey, party-baby!

You know, he made

a pass at me last week too.

- Walter? Oh, please.

- I can't even stand to think about it.

Be prepared.

He does not give up easily.

It was broad daylight and his wife

was standing ten feet away!

Poor woman.

Poor woman, my ass. Why does she

put up with it? The man is a Nazi.

Do you think they still... you know?

Yes.

Really? ALEX:
I hope his

dick is bigger than his I.Q.

- Once a week. He told me.

- He told you.

Otherwise she starts throwing things.

At least someone's getting

something once a week.

Yes, heartburn.

Mm. I keep forgetting how many calories

are in these.

Two minutes on the lips,

Forever on the love handles.

Ooh. And congratulations.

Oh, God, I forgot. Your divorce.

As of today, I'm a free woman.

- Join the club.

- Thanks.

Heh. Here I go again.

It's over, honey. You'll be okay.

It's a beginning, not an ending.

Right, Alex?

Besides, we still have each other.

Have some more martooni.

- Did you bring the cards?

- Was I supposed to?

- I have them.

- Okay, come on ladies, let's do it! Whoo!

I feel like I'm being unfaithful...

even if I just think about it.

Sukie, Monty deserted you

and left you with five kids.

- Six.

- Don't start, Alex.

Her husband left because

she had too many kids.

- That's his problem.

- You're oversimplifying.

- Yours left because you can't have any.

- You are definitely oversimplifying.

That's not the point.

What I'm saying is

that it's not your fault.

That doesn't matter.

It's just not that easy.

We're too young to lock it up

and throw away the key.

It's not natural.

What are we doing with ourselves?

Look, Ozzie's dead. I loved him.

He's dead.

So I spend Thursday nights

with you two the rest of my life'?

I like our Thursdays.

It's the only time I can relax.

Quilting, macram.

What did we do last Thursday night?

Chinese aphrodisiac cooking.

Fabulous. Stimulating.

We're not relaxing, we're hiding.

- What from?

- Walter Neff.

F*** Walter Neff.

I'm not talking about him.

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Michael Cristofer

Michael Ivan Cristofer (born January 22, 1945) is an American playwright, filmmaker and actor. He received the Pulitzer Prize for Drama and the Tony Award for Best Play for The Shadow Box in 1977. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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