The Wilde Wedding Page #2

---

- So do I.

- This is lovely.

Yeah.

- Sam. Tell me, how is your father?

- He's in Miami.

- Yeah. Sebastian and I broke up.

- EVE:
Why?

Well, you know, it was either that

or I was gonna strangle him.

Sure, the go-to options.

- MACKENZIE:
So, Eve...

- EVE:
Mm-hm.

MACKENZIE:
What can you tell us

about your first love?

Oh.

There was a beautiful boy, Cosmo.

He was the reason I joined

the theater class where I met Laurence.

Of course,

Cosmo wasn't interested in girls.

Yeah, duh. Of course. His name is Cosmo.

Alright, so... so, what,

your first love was Laurence?

I remember the first time

Laurence and I rehearsed.

He looked at me

with that smoldering stare that he has.

I mean, you know. You know the one.

I know it well.

And it was goodbye, Cosmo,

hello, Laurence.

( "BOOTY SWING" BY PAROV STELAR)

EVE:
Now, of course,

Laurence has had the career

every actor would dream of having,

unless, of course,

you're Laurence Darling.

He's recognized as a great actor.

I'm just a... a simple movie star.

And he could find that very annoying.

- Morning.

- Morning.

- Boys, boys, boys.

- Dad.

It's so good to see you.

Why isn't it more often?

- You never return any of our calls.

- Dad, Dad, Dad.

It was a rhetorical question, James.

We all have such busy lives now.

- Laurence.

- The Lady Eve.

- How are you?

- I am grand.

I have come to see you off again.

Maybe we'll get it right this time.

That's why I'm here,

to make sure that this one is a keeper.

You are so thoughtful.

As if you'd have any idea

what a keeper was.

- WOMAN:
Laurence.

- I'm sensing a theme here.

Are all the exes invited?

- Just the ones Mom likes.

- And they're still alive.

Well, I'm glad I still qualify.

Has the great man arrived?

Not yet. His sense of timing's

even better than yours.

Upstaged again?

- WOMAN:
Bad Girls.

- HAROLD:
Uh...

(BRITISH ACCENT)

Right. Uh, Bad Girls, Bad Girls.

(BRITISH ACCENT) Dad, come on.

It was one of her biggest hits.

Oh, yeah, got it.

Uh, Eve steals into a prison...

an Indonesian prison

to save her daughter

who's wrongly accused of murder.

OK, and it ends...?

Oh, f... Um...

Hang on just a minute. Uh...

Oh, yes, uh, it turns out

the daughter actually did it,

but Eve takes her place

on the scaffold anyway.

Actually, it's a rip-off

of Tale of Two Cities.

(BRITISH ACCENT)

Dad, I think it's very romantic

that you're going to all this effort.

- Thank you, Clemmie.

- Romantic?

It's an absolute bloody miracle.

RADIO:
You're an angel from up above

Sent down to give me love...

CLEMMIE:
Dad?

Dad.

I'm sorry.

It's a big day here.

- Waiting for Harold.

- (BRITISH ACCENT) It's a very good day.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes