The Whole Nine Yards Page #2

to investigate him for tax fraud.

So big Aaron needs money, and fast.

So he goes to a loan shark...

...takes out a loan against

our company...

...which I had no idea about...

-...then proceeds--

-To hit Vegas, Atlantic City, Reno.

Loses all the money and sticks you

with the bill. Am I right?

You are right. That's exactly right.

So after the ensuing scandal

and bankruptcy and embarrassment...

...my wife and her mother decided it

would be best that we move back here.

You like living in Canada?

No, I live here with my wife.

You sure you're a dentist?

Yeah, why?

I've never met a dentist I liked.

Well, I try to keep things

as painless as possible.

Me too.

It's been good.

I'm glad we got to know each other.

You know what? Me too.

-You can go now.

-Great.

Yes, dear?

Thank God you're home.

Thank God I'm home?

I had an idea. I figured out a way

we can pay off Daddy's debt.

You're getting a job.

Our new neighbor.

There's a price on his head?

Your plan is you'll

murder our neighbor?

Here's what you're going to do.

You're going to Chicago...

...you're going to find out who's

offering this price on his head--

Jimmy Tudeski's head?

Then you'll tell them

you know where he is...

...after you negotiate

a finder's fee.

A finder's fee on a murder contract.

Is that a problem?

Other than the fact that would

make me a party to a murder?

But he's a killer.

You said so yourself.

That's another good reason

not to do it.

Whatever he's done, he's been to

prison, he's paid his debt to society.

Well, now he can pay our debt too.

All right, look, I know this

is gonna sound crazy...

...but I spent some time

with the guy today...

...and he's pretty nice.

And besides, he hasn't done

anything to me.

-He came on to me.

-What?

He came on to me!

That animal, he made a pass at me!

When?

Earlier. This morning.

Before you came home.

He said you guys haven't even met.

Who do you believe?

A killer or your wife?

Do I have to answer that?

Let's say...

...that he did make a pass at you.

The guy's been in prison.

He's desperate.

He'd sleep with a meat grinder.

You pig! You disgust me!

There's a known killer next door

who might slaughter us in our sleep...

-...and you won't lift a finger!

-That's right!

I'm not gonna lift a finger

because this is crazy.

You do this for me...

...and I give you your divorce.

And if you don't do this for me,

I swear...

...I'll make your life

so damned miserable...

...these past few years will

seem like a pleasure cruise.

I already booked your flight.

You leave tomorrow at 9 a.m.

You better start packing.

When are you coming back?

I have to reschedule

your appointments.

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