The Wedding Date Page #2

---

Excuse us.

What a nightmare.

OK, we need a story.

You're a therapist, we just started

dating and you're crazy about me.

Count it. 6,000 even.

- Oh, I trust you.

- No. Count it.

All right.

I'll cover expenses but if you want

to be intimate, we talk money first.

That won't be an issue. I find the idea

of sex for money morally repugnant.

I'm sorry. No offense.

Do me a favor, quit apologizing.

If you look at this as

a business transaction,

maybe you won't

feel compelled to keep saying sorry.

I'm sorry.

It's also really annoying.

Sorry.

- Sorry.

- P*ssy Kat! What happened to you?

- Pull over for a quickie? - Mom, this is

so not the time to be yourself.

And who might this be?

Hi. I'm the new guy.

It's great to meet you.

Lovely. This is a marathon, not a sprint.

We've got welcome cocktails today

then tomorrow's Young People In The Park

and Stags And Hens.

Friday's the picnic, then the rehearsal dinner

and since you have left no margin for jetlag,

I need you to hydrate.

- Dad.

- My darling.

- Meet Nick.

- Professor Ellis.

- How do you do?

- Kat?

- Kat! Oooh! I'm getting married! Oh, Kitty!

- Hey!

Oh, I missed you so much.

Gosh, who's the hunky, huh? Nice.

There you are! Get over here!

At times like these,

I find a good, stiff drink helps.

- Can I get you a refill, sir?

- Very kind of you.

Where did you find him?

Thank you.

Yellow Pages.

Hello!

Sweet Jesus.

Who gave that woman an amp?

Hello. Hello?

Oh. Wonderful. It's finally working.

Does everybody have a drink?

Because I am going to say a few words.

Welcome, friends and family...

I'm...

Victor and I are so happy

that you're here to celebrate with us

as we welcome Edward and

the Fletcher-Wootens into our family.

We always thought that

we would marry off Kat first.

We had good reason to hope because

she was so popular with the boys at school

and we came pretty close once,

but, as you all know,

that crashed and burned.

Luckily, we were able

to get the deposit back,

so here we are again...

To the bride and groom.

Oh. Yes. Yes. Well, back

to the bride and groom to be.

Um...

Edward, we are so glad that

you fell in love with the girl next door.

Our Amy. Congratulations, babies.

Congratulations.

Jeffrey.

Hello. Kat-mandu.

Wow, you look gorgeous.

Gorgeous.

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God, oh, my God,

oh, my God, oh, my God! Top Kat! Ooooh!

Where the bloody hell have you been?

I have gynecologists that call more often.

- You have more than one?

- I play them off against each other.

Hello, arsehole.

Since you dumped my cousin brutally,

you won't mind if I

steal her away, will you?

Thanks.

- You didn't have to do that.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes