The Walking Deceased Page #2

---

You know, I was gonna throw

this little piece of sh*t away, but...

seems like maybe you could use it.

Sure hope that long nap of yours

didn't cause your aim to be off.

Every damn shot is precious.

Junior here has lost more

than I can count.

Thank you. Junior?

- Green Bay.

- Green Bay.

- Chicago.

- Those your legal names?

- No, we go by our favorite...

- Styles of pizza.

- Chicago, Brooklyn, Green Bay.

- Green Bay style pizza?

- Frozen.

- All right, all right, I get it.

If I run into a gay fat guy

named DiGiorno Stuffed Crust,

send him your way.

That was a joke.

Did humor get killed off

in the apocalypse, too?

No, I think it died

about five seconds ago.

Good luck, y'all.

Sure hope to see you later.

That was weird.

Oh, what up, girl?

Definitely got some blood flowing now.

Mall? I could do that.

Possible Cinnabon leftovers,

but also people who want

to blow my brains out.

Cinnabon and hot girl win.

Little girl?

Sweetheart? Where's your parents?

First zombie kill's gonna be a toddler.

I'm not a zombie.

I can't find my mommy and daddy.

That's exactly what a zombie would say.

- Have you seen my daughter?

- I did.

Clever a**holes.

That Sheriff's as good as dead.

What? I'm sure he can fend for himself.

They're trained for this.

Did they add zombie apocalypse training

to the police academy before the outbreak?

Good thing, because they

totally kept us safe.

Jesus, you two fight way too much to end up

together like everyone expects you to.

I'm gonna check the gennies.

Keep those sticky fingers to yourself

while we were gone, little sis?

No, hell, no. Little silent monk

tried to take my arrows.

Hey, Chicago, man,

check under the pillows.

Keep your damn hands

in your Polly pockets.

Was it a pretty fruitful run?

Yeah. Figured it was only a matter of time

before one of these chicks get prego.

Well, she's barely 14,

and I'd rather screw a zombie

than any of you, so I think we're good.

Hey, y'all give any thoughts

on that farm idea?

- Rumor has it, ain't no walkers out there.

- Safe havens don't exist. They're mirages.

There's nothing pure left in this world.

- Also check the gennies!

- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're just upset about the Selena Gomez

cardboard cutout incident?

It was late. I was lonely.

It looked real. Drop it.

I, for one, think that we should go

to the farm, you know.

This place...

This place sucks,

and there could be some food there.

I, for one, could go

for a scenery change.

Only reason I ever came

to this mall was for Rico's, and...

now that it's gone,

ain't no reason to be here.

- Looks like it's up to you, chickenshit.

- Fine. Whatever.

I'm in, but we're goin' tomorrow.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes