The Ups and Downs of a Handyman Page #2

Synopsis: A young handyman and his wife (Barry Stokes, Penny Meredith) move to a small village and set up business. There, the handyman encounters numerous strange characters, including a local constable (Chic Murray) more inept than a squadcar full of Keystone Kops; an elderly magistrate (Bob Todd) whose primary passion is spanking young women; a schoolmistress (Sue Lloyd) with a closetful of kinks; and more predatory housewives than the young man can handle.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): John Sealey
 
IMDB:
4.0
R
Year:
1976
100 min
85 Views


required I suppose, yeah.

- (laughs) Yes, yes, well,

that'll be 10 pence, please.

- Oh, good, well, I hope

it's worth the expense.

I like my pupils well advanced.

- Of course.

Yes, I'll, excuse me,

I'll just put this in the window for you.

- Goodbye.

- [Clerk] Goodbye, miss.

- [Lady] Goodbye, again.

- Goodbye, miss.

- I've run out of cigarettes.

(bell rings)

(chatter and laughter)

(bell rings)

(bell rings)

- Your cigar, thank you, sir.

(bell rings)

(buffoonish music)

(clown horn honks)

- Oh, that smells good.

- Mmm, well, I've got to build you up.

- I can't think why.

- Oh, don't be silly, darling,

something will turn up.

- I'm sorry, love, just

I'm feeling a bit fed up.

I mean, we've been here a month now

and nothing seems to

be going right, nothing.

- Oh, I know, darling, but

look it's not every couple

that's got a lovely cottage

left them by an aunt.

You'll see, soemthing'll turn up.

Perhaps your card'll do some good.

- Yeah, perhaps.

Another day is just beginning

And you're on the move again

Don't you think you should be happy

If you're sure about your friends

Oh, oh

You know you want to go

And put yourself on show

Oh, oh

But don't you be a fool

You gotta play it cool

Don't you know they might

just let you down

Now I guess you're feeling sorry

'Bout the things you just can't mend

I know it's hard but don't you worry

You're gonna make it

in the end Oh, oh

Get out and start again

Get out and meet your friends

Oh, oh Then you're gonna see

How things are gonna be

Don't you waste your time now bein' slow

Another day is here again

You're on your way to make amends

Don't hang around or it's the end

Of love and happiness

And things

- Oh, good morning, Mrs. Wayne?

- Course not, silly, come in.

- Oh, thanks.

- Sit down.

- Oh, thanks.

- Um, Mrs. Wayne is in the bath.

That's why we sent for you.

Drink?

- Yeah.

- Scotch?

- Very nice, thank you.

- Well, you see, every

time she empties the bath,

water somehow gurgles, splatters,

and comes back through the overflow.

We can go and have a look

at it when she's ready.

Here's your drink.

- Thanks a lot.

You're the girl from the news

agent's aren't you?

- Mmm, Daddy owns the shop.

- Oh, I see.

- Do you know he does amateur

photography as well.

- Mmm.

- [Clerk] I pose for him.

- Do you?

- Well, not nude, I mean I

couldn't do that, could I?

- What?

- Pose nude.

- Oh, no, no, I suppose not.

- Well, not with Daddy, anyway.

I hope you're going to be good.

- Sorry?

- Well, I recommended you

to Mrs. Wayne

who's in the bath upstairs.

- Oh, that's very kind of you.

But um, how do you know

I'll be any good?

- Instinct, experience.

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Derrick Slater

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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