The Truth About Cats & Dogs Page #2

on canine dental care.

...which I obviously

haven't got time to do if I want to...

- And Brian?

- Yeah?

I forgive you.

Yo, come on, man, let's roll. You've

got the shot. You got millions of shots.

No, I think this is better

than the thing with the boy.

- Are you gonna meet us later?

- Yeah, maybe.

I've got to make his dinner...

...and he shouldn't spend his

first night in a strange place alone.

Don't get too attached to this dog

and get weird on me, all right?

His mouth is all juicy,

like his gums sprung a leak or something.

It's meant to be juicy.

They dribble when they're hungry.

Hank!

So what do you think? What would a girl

find more romantic - tulips or roses?

- Well...

- Forget it. Susan will know.

Messengerjust dropped this off.

And line two's for you.

What's more romantic - tulips or roses?

Oh, that's so cute!

This is Abby.

- Hello, this is Brian.

- Yes?

We slept together.

Me and Hank. Did you get the picture?

Yeah, I'm lookin' at it right now.

- He spent the night.

- That's so great. How's it going?

Yeah, well, he snores, which was a problem.

- But we solved it.

- How'd you do that?

He slept on my face

and I couldn't hear him any more.

Good solution.

I'm glad he decided to keep you.

- So am I. I just wanted to say thank you.

- Oh, you're welcome. It was my pleasure.

And I'd really like to say it in person.

How about you meet us for a drink?

Um...

Or a walk. A walk along the canals.

Why would I meet a listener I know nothing

about who puts roller skates on his dog?

Good question, good question. Well...

I didn't want to say this upfront,

but I've got this really bad case of mange.

It's terribly itchy and I can't stop licking it.

I wondered if you could recommend

an ointment or have a look at it.

What the hell. OK,

how about the Washington entrance at five?

- Great. I'll see you there.

- OK. Me too.

Great. OK. Bye.

No, wait. What do you look like?

Why do you need to know that?

Just so I can recognise you.

Oh. What do you think I look like?

If the voice is anything to go by,

you look great.

I'm 5'10", blonde, thin...

Hard to miss.

OK. I'll see you there.

OK.

No, you won't.

(raised voices)

- (man) Get dressed, please.

- (woman) I don't want to. I look fine.

- (man) You look fat.

- Don't be like that.

- Noelle, just shut up and get back inside.

- What are you doing?

- I've already changed my dress three times.

- I know, but you look fat in that thing.

So go in and change the dress and do it now!

- Roy...

- Dumb b*tch!

- Did you call me?

- What?

I heard "dumb b*tch".

I assumed you wanted me.

- No, I'm talkin' to her.

- You're kidding. That's your name too?

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