The Toxic Avenger: The Musical

Genre: Musical

This show is 18 hours long!

Help us win, New Jersey

And save us from this goo

Crap, I just got scurvy

Good God, what can we do

Damn it, we're New Jersey

We're drowning in the muck

Say a prayer for Jersey

Or else we're good and fucked

Good God, we're good and fucked

New Jersey

New Jersey

Who will save

Who will save

Jersey, the Garden State

(audience cheering)

(audience applauding)

(energetic music)

- 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26.

(audience snickering)


(audience snickering)


- Hi Sarah!

Gosh you look awfully pretty today.

- Oh, Melvin you always say

the nicest things to me!

- Well you're like the

greatest person in Tromaville.

You're smart, and nice, and you spend your

whole day helping people

as our town librarian!

And even though you have a handicap,

you don't want any special

treatment from anyone!

- Excuse me!

I'm wondering if you can help me.

I'm looking for a book on folk singing.

(audience snickering)

- No, sorry.

I'm blind.

Okay bye.

Melvin, Melvin I have

a confession to make.

I don't want to spend the rest of my days

helping people in this library!

What I really want to do is write a book,

a meaningful and important

book that you can

download on your iPhone!

Hey have you figured out how you're gonna

save New Jersey yet?

(audience chuckling)

- Well, I had this

cockamamy idea!

- Uh-hmm.

- See, I've been examining all those vats,

and there's the name of a

corporation written on them.

And guess what it is?

The Good Earth.

- Oh no, not the Good Earth!

- Yes, they're assaulting our planet and

defaming a classic American

Oprah-endorsed novel

all at the same time.

- Oprah.

(audience snickering)

- If only I could get

to the bottom of it all!

If only I could locate

the official town records!

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David Bryan

David Bryan Rashbaum (born February 7, 1962), best known as simply David Bryan is an American musician and songwriter, best known as the keyboard player for the rock band Bon Jovi, with which he has also co-written songs and performed backing vocals. He is the writer of the successful Broadway musical Memphis. In 2018, Bryan was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame as a member of Bon Jovi. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "The Toxic Avenger: The Musical" STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 30 Nov. 2020. <>.

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