The Swap Page #2

not gollum's ring.

Hey, Jacko! You're 30

seconds late for "one-on-one

truck time" with coach.

-He's pulling up now. You

know how he hates to wait.

-Come on, buddy.

"Better three hours too soon

than a minute late."

Shakespeare.

Not even an athlete.

Not with those pantaloony

things he wore.

Yes, sir. Probably not, sir.

Would it really be so bad

if the team became a club?

I was in Spanish club and

it was "muy divertido"!

And MacKenzie is

in stem club, isn't she?

At least it would be something

new, and "new" is good.

New moons, new experiences,

perhaps a new best friend?

-Sassy's my best friend.

-Well, maybe you could

let some new energy in.

I mean, isn't that

what sassy's doing?

Thanks.

Have such a good day,

sweetie! Mommy loves you.

-Bye, mom.

-'Sup, dog breath?

-'Sup, dork chop?

Good to see you, bud.

Hey! 'Sup, hot mama?

News flash?

Skirts don't have legs.

-So embarrassing...

-Amirite?

-There. We good?

-Not really.

Sass, come on, you know we

always wear our tracksuits

the Friday before a meet.

-Rg pride, right?

-Yeah! Wish I hadn't caved.

Uh, yeah, we did, like,

make a pact last year...

Well, I wasn't here last year

to lead a fashion rescue,

- now was I?

Ooh, sassy, look!

It's your future first

husband, Jack Malloy!

You like Jack?

You didn't tell me.

Does he even know

who you are?

Have you never heard

of a vision board?

Jack is all over hers.

-Go ahead, do it

like we practiced.

-Ok.

-Jack, here comes a girl!

-Say something.

Hey, guys.

Heeeyyyy, jaaaaack.

Uh...

Uh...

Ha...

Well, at least this time you

opened your mouth, bromigo.

Yeah. Maybe next time

words will come out.

Ooh, I love the strong

silent type!

Nice phone, Malloy. You use that

to schedule your mani-pedis?

Hey, I was thinkin'.

Doesn't coach have a rule,

if you start a fight

you can't be on varsity?

-You oughta know, you've

tried out three times.

-Actually, four times.

Did sophomore year twice, idiot.

Go ahead, ladies first!

Then it'll look like you started

it when I show the video to

coach. Or does that even matter?

Don't all Malloys get

a free ride onto varsity?

Ha, worked better than

i expected. Oh, man.

Say goodbye to

your dreams, buddy.

Seriously?! I've had a milk

mustache since lunch?!

You think things with Ellie

are tough now? It's only

gonna get worse, babe.

I mean, people like us

have to make legit tough

decisions sometimes.

I know, I know.

I wish Ellie'd just get it

without me having to be all

-super awk obvious.

-It's kind of sad, actually.

Almost as sad as that ponytail.

I mean, what is she, 12? Oh,

and daddy's heirloom phone?

Why is she so attached

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