The Survivors Page #2

Look what you've done.

I've been shot.

I'm bleeding, aren't I?

Oh, that's a major gash.

I couldn't die in a good restaurant.

No, my last meal had to be a chilidog.

You won't die.

They always say that to people

who are dying, don't they?

Did you see the gunman?

Did you see what he looked like?

He looked familiar.

You look familiar too.

You I've never seen.

I never thought I'd be engaged

to a man with a bullet wound.

I think it's very '80s...

...very sexy in a way.

I'll live. Press that button.

I have a surprise for you.

- What button?

- That one right there.

- Whoa, watch out.

- Donald...

- Look:
Up scope.

- Okay.

Look, Mr. Weasel rising from the dead.

- Donald. Donald!

- What? Sonny.

- I don't want to break up your fun.

- Are you kidding? Come on in here.

Sonny Paluso, I'd like you to meet

my wife to be, Doreen Ryan.

- Honey, Sonny.

- What you did was really brave.

It was one of those crazy things.

I just came by to see

how you were feeling.

Besides the ventilation, fine.

I came by to apologize.

If not for me, you wouldn't be shot.

- Come on.

- You wouldn't be here.

- I mean it...

- I do too.

Sometimes you need some sense

knocked into you. Some mondo reality.

We spend so much time pursuing

that almighty dollar...

...that we can forget

what matters most.

Like people you love. Health.

God.

Those are three of the big ones,

all right.

When they brought me in here,

I lost a lot of blood.

You'll think I'm in bozo city, but...

No, go ahead. What?

As I felt my life ebbing away,

just for an instant...

...I saw God's face.

- You wanna know what God looks like?

- Who wouldn't?

I couldn't make it out too clearly,

because there was...

...this bright glow.

He had this white cloud

all around him.

Finally I could make out a head.

He has a large head.

Sure, he's God.

Then finally the cloud disappeared...

...and I heard this voice say...

Holy sh*t! Jeez, that's us.

Ordinary citizens putting up

their dukes and slugging it out.

Indeed, shooting it out

with violent criminals.

That's heroism. Or is it?

This station manager thinks...

...it is reckless

and potentially fatal stupidity.

What?

Jeopardizing the lives

of innocent people...

...is an act of hotshots, not heroes.

Hotshots?

Criminals must be stopped,

but by our capable police force...

...not hotshots armed only

with dumb luck.

Dumb luck?

This is a Channel 6 Editorial.

Opposing viewpoints welcome.

Opposing viewpoints?

Here's your opposing viewpoint,

you video dipshit.

Take it easy, Donald.

He hardly ever acts like this.

"Take it easy"? He made idiots of us.

I am sure no one who matters

watches the 5:
00 news.

Forget it.

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