The Simpsons Movie Page #2

- What seems to be the problem, officers?

Tell him you dared me to do it.

If that's true, then you should be

taking the rap here, not your son.

And what happens to me

if it's my fault?

You'll have to attend

a one-hour parenting class.

It was all his idea!

He's out of control, I tell you!

I'm at my wits' end.

It's so...

See you in court, kid.

Okay, son, let's get some lunch.

Did you at least bring my clothes?

Shirt, socks, everything you need.

- You didn't bring my pants.

- Who am I, Tommy Bahama?

This is the worst day of my life.

The worst day of your life so far.

- Say, Bart?

- What do you want, Flanders?

If you need pants,

I carry an extra pair.

You know how boys are,

always praying through the knees.

Why are you helping me?

I'm not your kid.

We're neighbors. I'm sure your father

would do the same for my boys.

Thank you.

- Hey, what's with you?

- You really wanna know?

Of course I do.

What kind of a father

wouldn't care about...?

A pig wearing a hat!

Action.

Hey, hey! It's your old pal Krusty,

for my new pork sandwich, the Klogger.

If you can find a greasier sandwich,

you're in Mexico!

And we're clear.

Perfect. Cut, print, kill the pig.

What...?! You can't kill him

if he's wearing people clothes!

You're coming home with me.

"A thousand eyes."

What could that be?

I'm pretty sure

a thousand is a number.

Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married

to someone who's recklessly impulsive?

Actually, it's aged me horribly.

Then say hello

to the newest Simpson.

Homer!

I believe what happened in church

was a warning about precisely this.

Please, get rid of that pig.

Oh, you're gonna love him.

Look, he does an impression of you.

You nailed her.

He also does me.

You smiled. I'm off the hook.

Oh, you have so many looks.

So that's what snug is.

Who's a good pig?

Who's a good pig?

Rough day, huh, son?

You don't know what rough is, sister.

Bart, you know, whenever my boys

bake up a batch of frownies...

...I take them fishing.

Does your dad ever take you fishing?

Dad, it's not fair to use a bug zapper

to catch the fish.

If you love fish like I do,

you want them to die with dignity.

I think I have a nibble.

I think fishing might be

more fun with you.

Oh, great. Now, how about

I fix you some cocoa?

No way. Cocoa's for wusses.

Well, sir, if you change your mind,

it's on the windowsill.

Oh, my God.

Oh, wait. I didn't tell you the best part.

He loves the environment.

Oh, wait! I still didn't tell you

the best part. He's got an Irish brogue.

No, no, wait!

I still didn't tell you the best part.

He's not imaginary!

Oh, honey, that's great.

But the very best thing

is that he listens to you.

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