The Security Men Page #3

Synopsis: Duckers, Jimmy and Ray are three work-shy security guards at a shopping mall who spend much of their time mocking their Jobsworth boss Kenneth. One night they bunk off to watch and bet on a boxing match at the electrical shop, only to find on their return that the mall's jewellers has been robbed. To save face - and their jobs - they bring in computer ace Rhys to help concoct a new CCTV film in which two of them pose as robbers and the other two pursue them but lose them. It looks very genuine but P.C. Greaves has his doubts. Can they get away with it?
 
IMDB:
6.0
Year:
2013
43 min
14 Views


Oh.

Ah, Kenneth.

Isn't it time for your break,

Kenneth?

Zero hundred hours precisely.

I'll be out the back if you need me.

Enjoy your break, Kenneth.

Ssh!

Right, let's get cracking.

You, on the main alarm system.

You, Duckers, get the keys.

I'll put this on auto.

Done.

Got 'em.

Let's do this.

..three... four... five...

Get a move on, will yer?

Jesus, Duckers,

you've brought the wrong keys.

Yes!

Yes.

We're in.

Kenneth.

Kenneth.

K-E-N-N-E-T-H.

It's Kenneth, Mother.

I tell you what, lads.

This'll last 15 minutes tops.

Kenneth will still be on the phone

to his mum.

It's the white tablets.

The white ones.

White.

That's it.

They're on your bedside table.

That's right. By the bed.

In the saucer. White.

Why would I be trying

to poison you, Mother?

You what?

Well, don't lie on the damp patch.

Ray... can I ask you a question?

And-and-and tell the truth now,

shame the devil.

Would you wash your mammy?

My mother's dead.

You were at the funeral, Jimmy.

Well, let's pretend she's not dead.

Let's say she's lying there,

lightly soiled.

Would you wash her then, Ray,

would you?

Say it was with a flannel?

I don't think Kenneth's

got a mother.

I think he's doing a Norman Bates

and he just dresses up like her.

This is the fight

we've been waiting for.

The big fight and a real test,

this one, for Amir Khan.

The place, you can see,

the MEN arena, absolutely packed out.

20,000 fans here, most of them

supporting Amir Khan.

Right. Sweepstake.

Closest round, tenner each.

I say it ends in five.

Give me round seven.

Five? Seven? Get a life.

Give me round two.

Amir Khan.

It's absolutely...

Amir!

I know you're here.

Come on, Khan, come on!

A good right hand from Khan.

Go on, smack him one!

Come on, Khan, come on.

Khan right on top

here in the second.

..and putting together some lovely

flourishes... Bite him!

This is turning...

- Starting to pile on the pressure.

- That's a great shot.

What a prat! What a prat!

It's one-way traffic

once again.

Khan piling on the pressure.

And that's five rounds gone.

One more round. Just one more!

- And he's been caught.

- And that's the first time...

Yeah-ha-ha!

He's not having it all his own way.

There's going to be some thinking

going on in that Khan corner.

He's got a little bit of a problem.

Right, lads, let's...

Come on, Khan! 'Great right hand

and Khan felt the weight of that.'

'Khan's going to have to really

dig deep and he's doing that.'

Don't let him off the hook, Khan!

Oh, bollocks.

Don't let him off the hook!

'And he produced

a grandstand finish...'

It's a sad day when an officer

can't rely on his men

when his back is turned.

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Caroline Aherne

Caroline Mary Aherne (24 December 1963 – 2 July 2016) was an English comedian and BAFTA-winning writer and actress, best known for performing as the acerbic chat show host Mrs Merton, various roles in The Fast Show, and as Denise in The Royle Family, a series which she co-wrote. Aherne narrated the Channel 4 reality television series Gogglebox from its inception in 2013 until 1 April 2016. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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