The Second Page #2

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- It's OK.

- I couldn't stay.

I had this thing. I mean,

it's all very complicated.

But anyway, that's done now.

- Totally done.

- It's OK.

Yeah, my f***in' boss accuses me

of stealing their tips.

And I thought,

"I've busted my arse for years

"f***ing schlepping tables

for that piece of sh*t."

- So f*** him.

- Did you steal them?

Maybe. Hey, I had to.

Rent, coke... Who knew

life was so expensive?

What about that guy

you were seeing?

- Lenny?

- Yeah.

Yeah, well, hard to see someone

who's serving 7 to 10.

What did he do?

F***ed me

with an intent to ruin my life.

It's great to see you,

it really is. But...

..you can't stay the whole week.

I've got my publisher here

and I'm...

..trying to start the next book.

Hi.

Hey.

And don't worry.

You won't even know I'm here.

I doubt that.

- Best friend.

- Publisher.

Liar.

- She told you.

- She tells me everything.

Warned.

So which room should I take?

Usual one?

She means my old room. And...

..tongue back in mouth.

Oh, my old bed!

Oh, it's good to be back.

Come on, you're gonna have to

stay in here with me.

- I'm working.

- Oh, come on! It'll be fun.

- Alright, maybe one night.

- Yeah, it'll be good.

- Just don't make a mess.

- What, me?

- How long is she staying?

- Couple of days.

I don't know if that's good.

Well, she's had a rough trot,

you know.

I couldn't just put her back

on a bus and send her away.

You're the one who said

she was a monster.

God, look at you.

You're already under her spell.

What?

Calm down.

Mum and Dad...

..cocktail time.

So did she tell you about us?

No.

Perfect.

"She was standing

at the bus stop.

"Her clothes were far too tight.

"Far too tight

"for her curves, to contain her.

"They strained

against her thighs...

"..the parts of her

she was trying to conceal."

What are you,

a f***in' man or a mouse?

Um...

I still

don't believe you.

Seriously.

- No.

- How did you two meet?

- Catholic girls' school.

- Really?!

Mmm. It happens,

not just in the movies.

And pornos.

Well, actually we met

in the confessional, so...

Yeah, I had

a burning confession.

And I was pretending

to be a priest

and I wanted

to hear a secret.

And what was the secret?

- Well...

- Well...

I'd been felt up

by one of the nuns.

Well, it was the first time I'd

been touched sexually, you know.

And, well, I needed to tell

someone the good news

so I turned to God.

Yes, I have, um...

I've heard that one before.

Yeah, well, you know...

Jesus, it happened to

a lot of us. She's not special.

Dark habits and lots of canings

in rectories.

And instead of 10 Hail Marys...

She invited me for the summer

to meet her famous father.

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