The Ritual Page #2

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the last time I saw her.

PHIL:
Yeah, I mean,

she mentioned Gayle.

DOM:
Yeah, well, they get on.

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)

Rob would have loved this place.

Except we wouldn't be here, though,

would we?

We'd be on some terrible lads' holiday

that he would have hated.

I've said it before, I don't care what

anyone says,

it wasn't your fault, mate.

- F***ing hell, is that the lodge?

- I think it is, yeah.

Ah. I thought we were

further out than that.

Uh-uh.

When we get back I was thinking

I might stop on a few days.

Maybe get out there,

do a little bit more hiking.

- What do you think, man?

- I dunno, mate.

Come all this way,

we gotta make the most of it.

No, I think this is enough for me.

(THUNDER RUMBLES)

What are you doing, man?

Here, give it here.

You've done it the wrong way round.

Give it here. Unclip the pole.

DOM:
Christ!

(WIND HOWLS)

PHIL:
Oh, this is awful

in almost every conceivable way.

DOM:
There are some, Phil,

who consider this character building.

Quite frankly, right now,

Sweden can lick my bridge.

- Lick your what?

- My bridge.

- Jesus Christ, the bridge.

- Oh, you mean the perineum.

- Yeah, the gooch. The bridge.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Argh!

- (THUD)

F***!

- Come on, let's get you up.

- Argh!

F***, sh*t!

All right, come on. Easy, easy.

- Come on, mate, you're all right.

- Up, up, up.

Yeah, all right, easy.

- Oh, f***.

- Walk about a bit on it.

- Argh!

- Give it a walk around.

That's it.

You're okay.

Argh! No, it's twisted. It's twisted.

- Can you put your full weight on it?

- Hurts like a son of a b*tch.

You could probably walk it off,

couldn't you?

No, no, it's my meniscus.

I've done it before, it's f***ed.

We'll get him something to lean on.

Phil, can you get the rods, please?

What we thinking, Dom?

'Cause the trail goes right round

those mountains there,

and it's probably, what,

six hours till we camp?

Another eight round to the lodge.

What we thinking?

F*** me.

I'm not doing 14 hours on this.

Okay, man?

Let's get the map.

- Wanna try your phone as well?

- No, no need.

- Well, there's no reception anyway.

- Cheers, man.

Luke, my office.

What do you think?

I think we could be carrying him out

of here like

a f***ing Egyptian princess

- if we're not careful.

- Probably not as bad as he says it is.

Almost certainly not as bad

as he says it is,

but it's not gonna stop him moaning

the whole way back, is it?

There is another way out of this, man.

What?

Well, you saw it last night.

The lodge.

It's not that far as the crow flies.

Look, if we go south-west,

through here,

we cut the journey in half.

- What, through the forest?

- Yeah, why not?

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