The Raven Page #2

Pray tell, what fine twat

did he deem more worthy?

Longfellow!

Longfellow?!

Longfellow!

Where is it?

- Where is what?

- The trash bin.

That is where all this brain-sucking,

soul-warping fish wrap should be put!

That's lovely, Eddy.

A real show of adjectival fireworks

from the great Poe himself.

Not only do you refuse

to print my review of Longfellow,

but you run

his third-rate poem instead!

- People like Longfellow.

- Editors like you tell them to.

Have you no soul, Henry?

Does the artistic enrichment

of your readers mean nothing to you?

Artistic enrichment?

You've got some gall, barging

into my office and lecturing me

when ail you do

is criticize others' work!

Not true. Not true at all.

You called Emerson

a "sad, festering literary whore".

Because he is precisely that.

Is honesty now a vice, or do you

prefer that jaded hack, Griswold,

fawning over some steaming mound

of hackneyed tripe?

- Doesn't think much of YOUR stuff.

- He's an intellectual nonentity.

He's a buffoon, which is probably why

he's so at home here with you.

Aw, you're out of control.

I'm broke.

Then try writing

another "Tell-Tale Heart".

People love blood. They love death.

If I couldn't churn out a "Tell-Tale

Heart" or a "Pit and the Pendulum,

I'd indenture

my very soul to the devil.

You've got to publish my review.

I'm desperate.

I need stories. Gripping stories.

I've got nothing left.

I've used up all my tricks.

Try laying off the liquor and

tinctures. it's rotting your brain.

I only drink occasionally,

to be social,

to alleviate my shyness.

And the tinctures

are purely therapeutic.

A slight palliative against the chill

of an orphan's despair.

- Write me something I can sell.

- You're a real bastard, Henry.

Why are you doing this?!

Why?!

What have I done?!

Please!

No!

Aargh!

Agh! Argh!

Aaaargh!

AAARGHH!

Consider, Carl, if you will,

the human heart.

This small chamber,

a vacancy,

where gases are wed to uids

and all the secrets and mysteries

of our species are hidden.

ls)

Write another "Tell-Tale Heart".

You think you're so clever,

don't you?

Miss Hamilton.

"The angels,

"not half so happy in heaven,

"Went envying her and me -

"Yes - that was the reason,

"as all men know,

In this kingdom by the sea,

"That the wind

came out of the clouds by night

"Chilling and killing

my Annabel Lee."

Continue.

"But our love...

it was stronger by far than the love

"Of those who were older than we -

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