The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio Page #2

- Only dishes, but something's in there.

- Yeah.

That'll take up

some of the room, at least.

The Red Sox, three,

Cleveland, two.

- The Indians have one last out.

- God's sakes!

Bunch of bums, is what you are.

- Bunch of bums.

- The bases are loaded.

Writing a winning entry not only

requires a modicum of wit,

it also requires careful product focus.

Notice I have not one,

but two brand names I need to use.

You want to know

where this is headed?

Niagara Falls, straight down.

Here's what I have so far.

"Wide selections, priced to please her.

Scads of Seabrook's in their freezer.

Warmth that scorns the impersonal trend,

stamps Big Chief

as the housewife's friend. "

Mom, I left my

spelling book in the kitchen.

All right, honey.

- Strike two.

- God damn it.

- Where is it?

- What's the matter?

Take the bat off your shoulder.

- Who's ahead?

- The Red Sox.

All right.

Come on, you moron. Hit the ball!

...gets the sign... on third...

...here's the pitch...

Cold! Strike three.

God damn it to holy f***ing hell!

You're killing us, you stupid bastard!

Hey, shut up over there!

You shut up!

This is a family neighborhood.

Clean your mouth.

I'll clean you up!

Who are you, the Pope?

Oh, for crying out loud.

I can't believe we got...

Goddamn piece of sh*t!

Where you trying to go with that?

This goddamn thing is too big

for this goddamn house!

You're gonna hurt your back.

Why not wait until morning?

I want this goddamn thing

out of the house right now!

I want it out!

- I never wanted it!

- All right, I'll see what I can do.

You'll enjoy...

The clean, tangy taste of Dr. Pepper.

- Nice try.

- Sorry, Mrs. Bidlack.

Watch it.

Maybe we should talk on the radio.

Indians.

I can't believe the Indians...

Problem is they got no clean-up batter.

- Clean up what?

- Half the team's in a slump.

Best move to make

is get rid of that manager.

You can't blame him.

Pitching, I'm telling you...

- What a world.

- Yeah. There's always...

- We're gonna take off now.

- Take it easy.

Hey, thanks, Tim.

He won't give you anymore trouble.

Best thing to do

is let him sleep it off.

Hey, Dick, how's the pitching arm?

Going for a no-hitter next season?

- You bet.

- Go get 'em, kiddo.

Here you go. I made this for you.

Thank you, Dad.

I'm tired.

Your pajamas are on the bed.

Thank you.

Mom?

Father McCague's here.

I don't think that you need to worry.

I'm sure that he's learned his lesson.

This has been going on

for a very long time.

Every night he drinks

a six pack and a pint of whiskey.

By the end of the week

nothing's left of his check.

It's all gone to the liquor store.

Kelly has a big family to take care of.

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