The Princess and the Pirate

Synopsis: Princess Margaret is travelling incognito to elope with her true love instead of marrying the man her father has betrothed her to. On the high seas, her ship is attacked by pirates who know her identity and plan to kidnap her and hold her for a king's ransom. Little do the cutthroats know that she will be rescued by that unlikeliest of knights errant, Sylvester the Great, who will lead them on a merry, and madcap, chase.
Production: RKO Pictures
94 min

My act is known all over Europe.

That's why I'm going to America.

I am sure you'll get

the reception you deserve.

Naturally. Say, here's a laugh for you.

You'll find this hard to believe...

but there's a weasel next door

that objects to my rehearsing.

Sends the Captain, telling me to pipe

down. Hasn't got nerve to tell me himself.

The Captain doesn't seem

to have much success, Sylvester.

- I see you haven't piped.

- No, I'm not going to. You know what I did.

I walked into the cabin,

and busted him right in the snoot...

- and him with shoulders like that.

- Sylvester, I have news for you.

- I'm the weasel next door.

- Yeah. I told...

Please try the act in pantomime.

No, do not kill him!

Do you not know that he is your own father?

- What did you say?

- Nothing. I just said "um."

Guess I can say "um."

What do you know?

- What's that?

- Nothing. I just said, "What do you know."

Look at what they said about me

in the Timbuktu Bugle.

Boy, what a write-up,

even mentions my name.

- "Sylvester the Great attracts attention."

- That's enough.

"Of all the actors who ever

played Timbuktu...

"Sylvester the Great

is probably the worst..."

Here's another one

from the Leningrad Tattler.

In Russian that's a great compliment.

It means that I'm a schlemiel.

Very few of us left.

You seem to have done

quite a lot of traveling.

With an act like mine, it's safer. I've been

to many places, the Indies, Europe, Africa.

Should've seen the show I did

on the Road to Morocco.

- Were you good?

- I would have been sensational...

only some overage crooner with laryngitis

kept crabbing my act. I had to brush him.

You know, I've never met an actor before.

You stay away from them.

Most of them go right on the make for a girl.

You know, I got a proposition.

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Don Hartman

Samuel Donald Hartman (18 November 1900, New York - 23 March 1958, Palm Springs, California) was an American screenwriter and director. He and Stephen Morehouse Avery were nominated for the Academy Award for Best Story for The Gay Deception (1935). more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "The Princess and the Pirate" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 26 Jan. 2021. <>.

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