The Pirates of Somalia Page #2

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are popular and stuff.

- Okay, bro, you lost me.

- Journalistic integrity,

it's gonna be worth

something on the resume

when I apply to Harvard's

journalism school.

- [laughs] Right, right.

- Hey, I got an idea for a story

I'm gonna submit.

It came to me when I was

listening to CBC Radio today.

- What's--what's the angle?

- The end of the comedic

dictator.

Kim Jong is on his death bed,

and once he goes,

where's the dictator

comedy gonna come from?

- Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

He's funny and very alive.

- He's not funny.

- He's a little funny.

- He's a little funny, but no

one can pronounce his name.

- Your story is flawed, bro.

- You guys want to hear

something f***ed up?

Tracy's getting engaged.

- Where did you hear that sh*t?

- Mm, Kate.

She said she saw

it posted on Facebook.

She's gonna marry her

Lit professor.

- No way. Tracy is repulsed

by older men.

- You were older.

- Two years is not older, man!

- It's a little bit older.

- F*** you, Crowe.

- Hey, are you sure you don't

want to hit Parrots with us?

- No, dude, I got to--

- Do some sh*t nobody

gives a f*** about?

- Exactly.

- All right, well,

that is your loss,

but if you change your mind,

please hit us up.

- You got it. Later, dudes.

- See you, buddy.

- See you.

- F***ing moron.

- What?

- Ahh! Ahh!

- Name's Bahadur, here

to see Dr. Fleshman

about my back.

- Have you ever been here

before?

- No.

- All right, you'll just need

to fill out these forms.

- Right.

- You okay?

- Yeah, I just hurt my back,

figured I'd get a jump

on being a senior citizen.

[grunts]

- So, you busting on grey hairs?

To make a move on Kaitlyn, eh?

- Excuse me?

- That's all right,

I understand.

I'd take down all of humanity

just to bang her.

- Seymour.

- Ooh. I was just talking.

I'm trying to keep it

a level playing field.

- Yeah, leave him alone.

- You know what I'm saying.

Sorry. What happened

to your back?

- Sh-shoveling.

- Shoveling?

- Yeah.

- I got, uh, shrapnel moving

around the vertebrae.

It's a b*tch.

- Well, sounds like I got the

better end of the deal in here.

- Oh, bullshit.

Shoveling? I hate shoveling.

Pointless waste of time, no?

Name's Seymour Tolbin.

- Ah.

- Oh, oh, sorry.

- Wait, Seymour Tolbin?

- Yeah.

- The--who writes for

"The Daily Mail?"

- Wrote.

I'm retired, sort of.

But that's right. That's me.

- Holy f***.

You are one of my favorite

journalists of all time.

- Come on. You Facebook people

have favorite journalists?

- You were one of the

first reporters who had the guts

to report the Battle of

Ong Thanh as a loss.

- That's--

so you're a journalist?

- No. Well, I mean, yeah,

I want to be,

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