The Pirates! Band of Misfits

Synopsis: After years of humiliation and failed attempts to win the coveted Pirate of the Year Award, Pirate Captain and his oddball crew take on the cream of the pirating crop - Black Bellamy, Peg Leg Hastings and Cutlass Liz - in a race to pillage the most booty. They soon cross paths with lovelorn scientist Charles Darwin, who persuades the Captain that the crew's prized 'parrot', Polly, could be the answer to the 'untold riches' they are searching for. Their adventure takes them to Victorian London where they meet Darwin's sidekick 'man-panzee' Mister Bobo, and the notorious pirate-hating Queen Victoria herself. It soon unfolds that Darwin's motives for helping the crew are not what they seem, and the Queen has an evil hidden agenda of her own. The Pirate Captain must choose between basking in the glory of being crowned Pirate of the Year, or staying faithful to his trusted crew.
Director(s): Peter Lord, Jeff Newitt (co-director)
Production: Sony Pictures
  Nominated for 1 Oscar. Another 19 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
88 min

You can't lose, Captain.

I'd bet my face.

Well, thank you, Albino Pirate.

You're a shoo-in, sir.

Sure, there's not a pirate

on the seven seas can match you.

Lock up your daughters!

It's me, Peg-Leg Hastings!

Back from plunderin' the Spanish Main.

Good grief.

And I reckon this will make me

Pirate of the Year.

Don't worry, sir.

He's all flash and no bang.

Cutlass Liz.

The Butcher of Barbados.

Hello, boys.

You're probably all wondering

if I'm still as deadly as I am beautiful.

Well, I am.

Hello, Cutlass, you trollop.

Peg-Leg, you pile of squid bait.

Check it out, lubbers.

The world's biggest diamond.

That baby's got my name on it.

She doesn't even have a beard.

Sweet Neptune's briny pants.

Black Bellamy.


Read it and weep, ya coves!

That's right, Black Bellamy is

gonna be Pirate of the Year.


How are you? Good to see you.

Grog for everybody!

Grog for everybody!

Wow, we are rubbish

compared to them, aren't we?

Perhaps we should be off, sir.


Yes, yes, good point.

I just remembered, actually,

I have some very important

bits of rope I need to untangle.

Thank you.

Well, if it isn't the Pirate Captain.

Hello, Bellamy. Cutlass. Peg-Leg.

Didn't notice you come in.

The beard's looking great, my man.

And I see that you're more wanted than ever.

Come on, everybody, be nice.

Give him a break.

Bring it down a little bit. All right.

Seriously, Captain,

how's the pirating business treating you?

Yeah, yeah, brilliantly, brilliantly.

Thanks for asking.

Treasure coming out of my eyeballs.

Taken to washing my hair in 50-pound notes.


If you've got so much booty,

then how come

you're still sailing that old wreck?

Anyway, look,

I'd love to stay and chat, but, you know,

places to pillage, people to...

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Gideon Defoe

Gideon Defoe (born 1975) is a British writer and author of The Pirates!, a series of comedy books following a group of pirates on their adventures. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "The Pirates! Band of Misfits" STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 29 Nov. 2020. <>.

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