The Pirates! Band of Misfits Page #2

Synopsis: After years of humiliation and failed attempts to win the coveted Pirate of the Year Award, Pirate Captain and his oddball crew take on the cream of the pirating crop - Black Bellamy, Peg Leg Hastings and Cutlass Liz - in a race to pillage the most booty. They soon cross paths with lovelorn scientist Charles Darwin, who persuades the Captain that the crew's prized 'parrot', Polly, could be the answer to the 'untold riches' they are searching for. Their adventure takes them to Victorian London where they meet Darwin's sidekick 'man-panzee' Mister Bobo, and the notorious pirate-hating Queen Victoria herself. It soon unfolds that Darwin's motives for helping the crew are not what they seem, and the Queen has an evil hidden agenda of her own. The Pirate Captain must choose between basking in the glory of being crowned Pirate of the Year, or staying faithful to his trusted crew.
Director(s): Peter Lord, Jeff Newitt (co-director)
Production: Sony Pictures
  Nominated for 1 Oscar. Another 19 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.7
Rotten Tomatoes:
87%
PG
Year:
2012
88 min
$31,051,126
Website
1,482 Views


People to skewer.

Come on!

That is disgusting.

Wait a minute.

Captain, what is this?

- What?

- Captain?

That's nothing.

Could I possibly have that back?

- Hold on, hold on. Wait, wait.

- Thank you.

"Pirate of the Year"?

You're entering Pirate of the Year?

No, no, no, no, no.

- Yes.

- Again?

Yes!

Come on. Listen, did they change the rules?

I mean, I always thought they gave it

to the pirate with the most booty.

Do they now just give it to the guy

with the fattest parrot?

She is not fat. She's just big-boned.

She's fat, dude.

Yeah, go on. Go on, then, laugh.

Everyone laugh.

Ignore them, Captain. It's not worth it.

The trophy would just clash

with your wallpaper, anyway.

You'll see, you'll see.

I will be Pirate of the Year.

Yes.

And then you'll be laughing on

the other side of your faces.

Yes.

And believe me, that is

a very painful thing to do.

Come on, lads.

Well...

All right, now listen up, you coves.

All right, now listen up, you coves.

'We'll show those swabs

a thing or two about pirating.

There's still time

to fill these chests with sparkling booty.

I can practically taste that trophy!

Trophy! Trophy! Trophy!

Captain! Sail off the port bow!

Let's get after her, Number Two.

Aye, aye, sir.

Clap on all sail!

Royals and topgallants!

Release those gallants!

Fire those long things that go bang.

Fire cannons four and six!

Eat cannonball, lubbers.

Here we go, lads! Look and learn.

Go get 'em, Pirate Captain!

Avast! I'm the Pirate Captain.

And I'm here for your gold.

Gold? This is a plague boat, old man.

I'd give my right arm for some gold.

Or my left.

Right, lads.

Minor hiccup, that last one.

This time,

it's payday!

I'm the Pirate Captain,

and I'm here for your gold.

Geography field trip.

I'm the Pirate Captain, and...

Naturists.

Pirate Captain.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, gold.

Ghost ship.

Sorry.

Captain, we've sighted another ship, sir.

That's nice.

Do you want to give the order to attack?

No, not really, Number Two.

No, I think I've...

Think I had enough of piracy.

I'm hanging up my cutlass.

Captain, no!

Yeah, I was thinking

I might go into baby clothes, actually.

What?

I hear there's a fortune to be made

in baby clothes because

babies grow so fast.

No, but you can't. I mean, the crew...

They'd... They'd be lost without you.

What was I thinking, Number Two?

Pirate of the Year?

Me?

Look at the trophy cabinet.

Best Anecdote About a Squid.

I mean, that is all I've got to show

for my entire career.

Pirate of the Year?

It's just commercialized nonsense.

Real piracy isn't about trophies.

It's about fighting up staircases backwards.

It's about sliding down sails

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote

Gideon Defoe

Gideon Defoe (born 1975) is a British writer and author of The Pirates!, a series of comedy books following a group of pirates on their adventures. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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