The Philadelphia Story Page #2

treat all your other writers.

You really hate me,

don't you, Connor?

No. I don't like you

very much, though.

You hate me, I trust,

Miss lmbrie?

No. I can't afford to hate anybody.

I'm only a photographer.

Ask him to wait.

Your assignment will be Spy's

most sensational achievement:

Tracy Lord.

Big game hunting in Africa,

fox hunting in Pennsylvania...

married on impulse

and divorced in a rage...

and always unapproachable

by the press.

"The Unapproachable Miss Lord."

"The Philadelphia Story."

"Closed were the portals

of snobbish fox hunting." No.

"No hunter of foxes

is Spy magazine."

Anyway, presented for

the first time, quote:

"A wedding day

inside mainline society."

"Or what the kitchen maid saw

through the keyhole." Unquote.

Writing's your job.

I'm only the publisher.

All right, publisher,

take this. Quote:

"No hunter of buckshot in the rear

is cagey, crafty Connor."

Unquote. Close paragraph.

Close job.

Close bank account.

But how can we possibly get inside

the Lord estate, let alone the house?

We're not gonna do it,

doggone it!

It's degrading!

It's undignified!

So is an empty stomach.

How do we get in?

Ask the gentleman to come in.

- I understand we understand each other.

- Quite.

This gentleman has been employed

in our Buenos Aires office.

Fortunately, he came up

yesterday on the clipper...

and I believe he can

help us with our problem.

How?

Tracy Lord's brother Junius is

in the American embassy down there...

and he's an old friend

of this gentleman's.

He'll introduce you to the Lords

as intimate friends of Junius.

Dear old Junius.

This Tracy Lord,

does she know you?

You might say Miss Lord and I

grew up together.

You might also say

you were her first husband.

Yes, you might.

Holy mackerel.

What goes on here?

I remember your honeymoon very well,

you and she on a little sailboat.

- The True Love, wasn't it?

- How did you know?

I was the only photographer

whose camera you didn't smash.

You were terribly nice about it.

You threw it in the ocean.

One of those, huh?

Yes, I had the strange idea

our honeymoon was our own business.

Incidentally, he paid for the cameras.

I got a nice letter of apology too.

Always the gentleman, huh?

Except on occasion.

Now, what are the plans?

The wedding's Saturday.

Today is Thursday.

They should spend tomorrow night

as guests of the Lords.

There's somethin' screwy here.

If you've resigned, why are you

doin' all this unless you...

You wanna get even

with your ex-bride, huh?

I'll have a car pick them up

at noon tomorrow in north Philadelphia.

Mike, there's spit in your eye.

It shows.

Maybe they'd rather we go around

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