The Opposite of Sex Page #2

Matt told me about your brother|and Bill. I'm sorry he's dead.

Did he give it to Bill?

That is none of your business.

Actually, it is.

I could drink out of the same cup|or something, accidentally...

if I stay for a while.

What do they teach you in Louisiana?

It's roughly,|you reap what you sow, if you're gay.

You don't get it from cups.

Anyway, they're both negative. Do|you know what negative means?

Bill's kind of cute, isn't he?|Even though he's old.

He's thirty-five.

Yeah, but he's still kind of cute.|He looks like my father.

I have a picture. You wanna see?

Yes.

He married Bill's mom first.

Then he met this lady who typed 140|words per minute.

Traveled around the country...

demonstrating typewriters|and tight sweaters.

After that broke up, he married my|mom.

That's the one that killed him.

Yes, there's a resemblance.

Too bad he's a fairy, right?

That's not how I would put it.

Then, too bad he's however you would|put it.

Matt worked the night shift at Kinko's,|so he didn't go in till four.

We hung out a lot.

He was like a blind person, you|know?

They can't see, but they hear real|well.

Matt couldn't think at all, but he|looked great.

It's survival.

Cute, stupid people survive, have lots|of cute, stupid babies who also survive.

It was like watching evolution at|work...

as long as you reproduced.

How long have you been here?

A year in June.

So it's kind of like, if you were|normal, you'd be in love.

We're normal.

In love, I don't know.

He's like...

I think he was in love with Tom.

Did you know him?

No, just from what his sister says.

Bill doesn't talk about him that|much.

He's like, what, twenty years older|than you?

Nine. Sometimes ten, depending on|the month.

Have you always been a mo?

Yeah, I guess.

You've never slept with a girl.

Nope, never came up.

So to speak, right?

It's just not for me.

How would you know if you've never|tried it?

I never tried Communism, but I know|I wouldn't like that.

It's the same thing. Or grits.

Have you ever slept with a Black|person?

No, I don't think so.

Because you know you wouldn't like|it.

No, I don't know that.

So even though you've never tried|either...

you'd have sex with a Black|person but not with me.

God, it's like reverse|discrimination.

Quotas.

Is it?

Yeah, it's prejudice.

Would you mind?

I think you can reach them yourself.

Scared you'll get a woody?

Dedee, look...

you're really great, but I'm gay.

Theory.

Whatever. You're my boyfriend's|sister--

Half-sister. Look, I get it, okay?

If I was you and I had this great|setup...

and the guy I was with was|fifteen years older than me...

and all I had to do was blow him|a couple of times a year...

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