The Old Fashioned Way Page #2

I hope you are well, | this effulgent morning.

Fine, Pop.

How are all of my little children | of the theater this morning?

That's what I thought.

I have a telegram here that will | warm the cockles of your heart.

I received it | last night at Pocatello.

"The Great McGonigle, | America's leading tragedian. "

It's headed that way.

"Train number 42, upper berth... | Private car number three.

"Dear sir. In reply | to your telegram,

"the advance sale | indicates the worst...

"The best business | this theater has ever known.

"Signed Sneed Hern. " | The manager.

I expect the populace down | to greet us at the station,

possibly with a brass band.

Bellefontaine! | Bellefontaine!

Godfrey Daniel! Strike me | up a gum tree. Here we are.

See, they not only brought a brass | band, but they brought out the militia.

I thank you.

My friends...

My...

Thank you.

My friends of the beautiful | city of Bellefontaine,

words fail me | in expressing our gratitude.

Few of you realize | the penalty of greatness

to which myself | and my company are martyrs.

During our peregrinations | of the seven seas,

we have always had a fond spot in | our heart for dear old Bellefontaine.

And in conclusion,

I wish to thank you on behalf | of myself, the Great McGonigle,

and on behalf of my daughter, | Miss Betty McGonigle.

And on behalf of | the Great McGonigle Company.

I thank you.

I thank you.

I thank you.

Don't shove, daughter. | Little jump here.

Welcome, brother. | I thank you.

I won't...

Left face. | Forward march.

Friends, your reception | has touched my heart.

The opera house is | sold out tonight,

but for your benefit I have | ordered 100 more chairs.

But remember, one and only | one chair to each person.

Bring me my cane.

Thank you. Oh, yes.

Good morning, | my dear Mr. Wendelschaffer.

I hope | I haven't disturbed you.

Mrs. Wendelschaffer, | come down here.

By the by, how is the good Mrs. | Wendelschaffer this morning?

My dear Mrs. Wendelschaffer.

How well you look. | I trust you are fit.

Don't use the word "trust" | around here, Mr. McGonigle.

I hear it too often.

I merely use it | as a hyperbole.

Now, listen to me.

After you've eaten my food | and slept in my beds,

not one piece of baggage goes out | of here until you've paid your bills.

My dear Mrs. Wendelschaffer, | our unimpeachable integrity

has never even been | slightly questioned.

Bertha, show them to | their rooms. Yes, ma'am.

And don't forget to count | the towels. Yes, ma'am.

Is the dining room | open yet?

No!

My dear Bertha. | How charming you look today.

Well, you might as well | pick up your bags.

There ain't nobody gonna | help you carry them upstairs.

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