The Night We Never Met

Synopsis: Sam has a problem with his roommates: they are disgusting, and don't seem to share his views on responsibility, privacy, and basic hygiene. Such is his discomfort with his living arrangements that he agrees to share the occupancy of another flat: he gets two nights a week, the owner (a sleazy frat-boy yuppie named Brian, soon to be married) and Ellen (a would-be painter seeking relief from her boring marriage) each get their separate nights in the flat. Things go extremely well until Sam and Brian swap nights without telling Ellen, who attributes the "nice" things that happen around the place to the slob Brian, while berating the responsible Sam for his hedonistic lifestyle.
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): Warren Leight
Production: HBO Video
  1 nomination.
Rotten Tomatoes:
99 min


The lion's den.

No. No. No.

Where there's a rent-controlled

lease, there's always a way.

So... what's the deal?

Well, two days a week...

T.G.I.F. and

wednesday-night poker.

Aah! Gimme, gimme,

gimme, gimme, yeah!


Who commerced?

A - a stewardess?

I don't even know them.

I had, uh, my secretary

set up an unequal three-way

time-sharing progression.



Yeah, right.

One's gonna paint...

and Mrs. Winkler

says the other one

is getting over

a - a broken heart.

Two years of my life.

What a waste.

I wonder how she's doing.

Oh, a mirror...

That's a little self-absorbed.

It's a reflection on our

narcissistic culture.


Sam, maybe you shouldn't

have come tonight.

I'm fine.

Adeeka, adeeka,

adeeka, adeeka.

La-di-da, la-di-da,

la-di-da, da-di-da.

My mother, my sister,

my mother, my sister.

What is she doing?


Oh! No!


Jesus Christ.

What is she doing?

It's... it's an expression

of her frustration

with the weight

of European history.



Ahh. Ahh.


Who's the little lobster?

Would you like some lobster?

Uncle Sam.

Would you dance with me, please?


What's that supposed to mean?

It's a symbol, Sam.



I thought it went over very well.

Bertrand missed his,

uh, lightning cues, the fool.

R - really?

I thought so.

But I don't think anybody

there noticed.

What does you know about art?

You know, pastel, I worry about

you walking home alone...


In the neighborhood.

I don't use a lecture now.

All right.

Oh, Sammy.

The old apartment.

Put the bag there.



You put some new posters

of yourself up.

I didn't want, uh,

memories of us, uh,

haunting me now that the place

is mine now, hmm?


Hey, um...

You want me to...

run downstairs

Rate this script:(4.00 / 1 vote)

Warren Leight

Warren Leight (born January 17, 1957) is an American playwright, screenwriter, film director and television producer. He is best known for his work on Law & Order: Criminal Intent, Lights Out and the showrunner for In Treatment and Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. His play Side Man was a finalist for the 1999 Pulitzer Prize for Drama. more…

All Warren Leight scripts | Warren Leight Scripts

FAVORITE (0 fans)

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:



    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)


    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


    "The Night We Never Met" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 23 Jan. 2021. <>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    Watch the movie trailer

    The Night We Never Met

    The Marketplace:

    Sell your Script !

    Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!

    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.

    Thanks for your vote! We truly appreciate your support.