The Music Man Page #2

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CHARLIE:
He don't know one note from another, that's what's wrong with that!

He can't tell a bass drum from a pipe organ!

I'll catch up with that swindlin' two-bit thimble rigger,

and when I do I'm gonna squeal on him so loud.

Pardon.

Yeah.

Sure would like to be around when you catch up with that fella.

Me, too.

Well, it won't be on this trip. Not in Iowa.

Even the great Professor Hill wouldn't try to sell to them

neck-bowed Hawkeyes out here, huh?

(ALL LAUGHING)

CONDUCTOR:
All aboard.

Gentlemen, you intrigue me. I think I'll have to give Iowa a try.

I don't believe I caught your name.

Don't believe I threw it!

Harold Hill.

That's him! It's you! You're him, you're Harold Hill!

You're Harold Hill.

That's him, fellows. That's him. That's the fellow!

That's the fellow we were just talking about!

That's... Right... That's Harold Hill!

I won't forget your face, Hill!

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Good day!

Got a hotel in this town?

Yeah, it's not in town.

Can you tell me where it is?

Straight through town, turn right, come to the fork, go on from there.

Left or right?

Doesn't matter to me.

Thanks, anyway.

Oh, there's nothing halfway about the Iowa way

To treat you when we treat you

Which we may not do at all

There's an Iowa kinda special chip-on-the-shoulder

Attitude we've never been without

That we recall

We can be cold as our falling thermometer in December

If you ask about our weather in July

And we're so by-God stubborn we can stand touchin' noses

For a week at a time and never see eye-to-eye

But what the heck you're welcome join us at the picnic

You can have your fill of all the food you bring yourself

You really ought to give Iowa a try

Provided you are contrary

Good afternoon, Mayor Shinn.

Good afternoon, Mayor Shinn.

It is, if you wanna go 'round in your drawers all day.

...and there I was in Madison Hospital and nobody come to see me.

Cousin Will never come, and Aunt Bertha never come.

Aunt Bertha's dead.

Ah, she wouldn't have come anyway.

We can be cold as a falling thermometer in December

If you ask about our weather in July

And we're so by-God stubborn we can stand touchin' noses

For a week at a time and never see eye-to-eye

But we'll give you our shirt

And a back to go with it

If your crop should happen to die

So what the heck you're welcome glad to have you with us

Even though we may not ever mention it again

(CAMERA CLICKS)

You really ought to give Iowa

Hawkeye, Iowa, Dubuque, Des Moines, Davenport, Marshalltown,

Mason City, Keokuk, Ames, Clear Lake

Ought to give Iowa a try

You really ought to give Iowa a try.

GIRL:
It's not fair. She started it.

I'd like a room near a bath, please. Facing the back.

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