The Muppet Christmas Carol Page #2

---

on frivolities.

One might say that December

is the foreclosure season.

Harvest time for the moneylenders.

- Hey. Boss. Ask him.

- Tell him. Mr Cratchit.

- Come on. Do it now. Boss.

- Uh. If you please. Mr Scrooge...

it's gotten colder.

and the bookkeeping staff...

would like to have an extra

shovelful of coal for the fire.

- We can't do the bookkeeping.

- Yeah. All of our pens

have turned to ink-cicles.

Our assets are frozen!

How would the bookkeepers like

to be suddenly unemployed?

Heatwave!

This is my island in the sun

l-I believe you've convinced them

once again. Mr Scrooge.

At that moment.

who should arrive at the door...

but Scrooge's nephew. Fred.

his only living relative.

- Nephew Fred? I don't see him.

- Trust me.

Hello? Uncle?

- Rizzo?

- You're very good at that. Mr Dickens.

A merry Christmas. Uncle Scrooge.

- God save ya!

- Merry Christmas? Bah humbug.

Quick! It'll be warmer in there.

Christmas a humbug. Uncle?

Oh. You don't mean that. Surely.

Actually. I think

it's colder in here.

Merry Christmas you say?

What right have you to be merry?

You're poor enough.

What right have you to be dismal?

You're rich enough.

He's got him there.

The old boy's speechless.

If I could work my will...

every idiot who goes about

with "Merry Christmas" on his lips...

would be cooked with his own turkey

and buried...

- With a stake of holly through his heart.

- Well. Not quite speechless.

- Oh. Uncle!

- Nephew...

you keep Christmas in your own way

and let me keep it in mine.

Christmas is a loving.

honest and charitable time.

And though it's never put a scrap

of gold or silver in my pocket...

I believe that Christmas has

done me good and will do me good...

and I say. God bless it!

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah!

And how does one celebrate Christmas

on the unemployment line?

Now. In these times. It was customary

on Christmas Eve...

for well-meaning gentlemen

to call upon businesses...

collecting donations

for the poor and homeless.

Mr Scrooge. I presume?

Who are you?

We're from the Order of Victoria

Charity Foundation.

We'd like to speak to you

about a donation.

Ah. Welcome! This jolly old

gentleman here is Mr Scrooge.

- He's very generous to charities.

- My dear nephew!

At this festive season

of the year. Mr Scrooge...

many of us feel that we must take care

of our poor and homeless.

And are there no prisons?

No poorhouses?

Oh. Plenty of those. Sir.

Oh! Excellent!

For a moment. I was worried.

Some of us are endeavouring to raise

a fund for the poor and the homeless.

What might I put you down for?

- Nothing.

- You wish to remain anonymous?

I wish to be left alone.

I do not make merry

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes