The Monster Squad Page #4

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COACH STEELE:

Mr. Combs. That's the only PG-rated

word that comes to mind when

discussing your regulars.

Steele chuckles to himself, backing up to the door.

COACH STEELE:

Oh, and Means? Next time I catch

you on the slide, you better hope

Combs is close enough to hear you

hollering. Dig?

DEACON:

(sarcastically)

Dig it, badger.

Steele slams the door behind him, sending papers scattering

from Combs' desk. Combs wearily goes about picking them up.

MR. COMBS

Now, see? That could be an

excellent example of what happens

to feelings when they go

unexpressed, and get pent up.

.

DEACON:

Or when an employer doesn't do

background checks.

MR. COMBS

Deacon. Please. As we were

discussing... expressing ourselves.

I have a little video here...

Audible GROANS, as Mr. Combs produces a battered old VHS

sleeve and tape.

10.

MR. COMBS

Yes, yes, it's a little 'cheesy'

and a little 'eighties,' but the

message... I think... is pretty

timeless. It's called "An Inquiry

of the Spirit," and it's about

twenty minutes long.

Combs fiddles with an A/V TOWER at the front of the room,

inserting the tape and flipping on the television.

MR. COMBS

I think you can handle it. I'll be

back in a bit.

Wobbly synth music chirps up as the movie starts: a blurry,

aged graphic with the film's title. As the boys settle into

their slumps and sour expressions, the HOST appears: bad

hair, bad moustache, bad lycra workout suit, seated cross-

legged in a cheap set that's styled to look like a Japanese

garden. The text beneath him reads "DAVE YOUNG - EMOTIONAL

CARTOGRAPHER."

DAVE YOUNG:

Emotions... the unspoken language

of the universe. Whether it's

plants, animals, or the invisible

chakras of life on this planet...

D'Juan turns in his seat, facing Deacon, who has been

grinning at the back of his head the whole time.

D'JUAN

You need help with something?

DEACON:

I'm just curious. Jocks usually

have a bye on winding up in here.

CHUD:

Ex-jock.

11.

The boys shift their attention to Chud, as he also turns

towards Deacon.

CHUD:

He got suspended from the

basketball team last week.

DEACON:

(amused)

Oh, my. By Coach Steele? Tsk.

D'JUAN

Yeah. I missed the part where you

explain why you give a sh*t?

DEACON:

Well... I don't, see. But it's that

kind of reckless show of free will

that moves a guy from one rung of

the social ladder to the next one

down... one day, you're doing pick

and rolls and copping feels off

cheerleaders, and the next thing

you know...

Deacon gestures at the screen, where David Young is engaging

in a series of exaggerated BREATHING EXERCISES; panting and

stretching from the lotus position.

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