The Man Who Came to Dinner Page #3

- Yes, ma'am.

Young lady, I cannot stand indecision.

Will you either go up those stairs

or come down them?

Good morning. I'm sorry I'm so late.

I had to go to three different stores.

How did you travel, by oxcart?

Richard.

Is there any man

who suffers as I do...

...from the gross inadequacies

of the human race?

Where are you going?

Keep those canal boats

away from me.

Go read The Life

of Florence Nightingale...

...and learn how unfitted you are

for your chosen profession.

Well, I think I can safely leave you

in Miss Cutler's capable hands.

- Shall I look in again this afternoon?

- If you do, I shall spit right in your eye.

What a sense of humor

you writers have.

Oh, by the way, it's really

not worth mentioning...

...but I've been doing a little writing

myself about my medical experiences.

Am I to be spared nothing?

Would it be too much to ask you

to glance over it while you're here?

- Trapped.

- Why...

Well, I just happen to have

a copy of it with me.

Forty Years an Ohio Doctor.

The story of a humble practitioner.

I shall drop everything.

I'm much obliged. I hope you like it.

Well, I'll see you on the morrow.

Keep that hip quiet

and don't forget those little pills.

Maggie, will you take

Forty Years an Ohio Butcher...

...or whatever it's called?

I must say, you have certainly behaved

with your accustomed grace and charm.

I'm in no mood to discuss my behavior,

good or bad.

I didn't wish to cross

this cheerless threshold.

I was hounded and badgered into it.

Now I find myself,

after two weeks of wracking pain...

...accused of behaving without charm.

What would you have me do,

kiss them?

Very well, Sherry.

After 10 years, I should know better

than to try and improve your manners.

When I finally leave this job,

I may write a book about it.

Through the Years

with Prince Charming.

Listen, repulsive, if we may

dismiss the subject of my charm...

...for which, incidentally, I receive

$ 1500 per appearance...

...possibly we can get to work.

Oh, no, we can't.

My name is Harriet Stanley.

I know you are Sheridan Whiteside.

I saw this holly framed green

against the pine trees.

I remembered what you'd written

about Tess and Jude the Obscure.

It was the nicest present

I could bring you.

- And what, may I ask, was that?

- That was Mr. Stanley's sister, Harriet.

I talked to her a few times.

She's strange.

Strange? She's right out of

The Hound of the Baskervilles.

- I've seen that face before somewhere.

- Nonsense. You couldn't have.

Oh, well. Let's get to work. Here.

Press this in the doctor's book. Did you

put through the call to Mrs. Roosevelt?

I called her in Portland,

but she'd already left for San Diego.

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