The Making of 'The Sweetest Thing' Page #2

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I'm sorry. Hi.

- Hi. What's your name?

- Peter.

Peter, this is my friend, Jane.

Jane would love to dance.

I don't mean to be rude,

but I have some friends waiting for me.

Nice to meet you, though.

- He hated me. I suck.

- You don't suck. That guy was a dick.

I'll make sure that you have fun tonight

if it's the last thing...

What did you call me?

You just called me a dick. I heard you.

Why am I a dick?

Because I didn't like the way

you treated my friend.

I didn't do anything to your friend.

You barely gave her the time of day.

You tried to pawn me off on her

and I didn't go for it.

You should be so lucky to even talk

to someone as hot and sweet as Jane.

Excuse me.

I wasn't suggesting you get married.

I just thought you could get it on.

What? Get it on?

You know nothing about me.

What if I'm some psycho serial killer?

What if Jane was the girl of your dreams,

but you'll never know?

That is the sweetest thing.

I never thought I'd meet her

by having somebody grab me and say:

"Man, I have good woman for you.

She is very hot and sweet.

"Jane! Dance for the man!"

- Maybe that's your problem.

- What?

Maybe if you didn't play it so safe,

Mr. Safety-Poo...

...you might meet a girl you could have fun with.

This brilliant love advice comes

from one who loves to play games with men.

Always in control.

That way, she never has to get too close.

Nice manners, by the way.

Where the hell did that guy... Jane?

What's up with you?

Nothing. What's up with you?

I can't believe he brought that b*tch

to our bar.

- This is our bar.

- Forget her, she's a skeev.

- But is she prettier than me?

- Of course not, you're beautiful.

Oh, my God, you f***ing b*tch!

I can't believe you grabbed his ass.

He comes right into my face

and starts telling me all this stupid stuff...

...about how I like to play games

and be in control so I never get too close.

Can you believe him?

- What?

- Nothing.

- I've never seen you act like this before.

- Act like what?

They're fake.

All bah-jiggity about some guy.

- Bah-jiggity?

- Yeah.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to stare.

It's cool. It's why I got them.

- I'm not bah-jiggity.

- You are so bah-jiggity.

They look real.

Thank you. You can touch it if you want to.

No.

- Touch it. She likes it.

- Go ahead. It feels real, huh?

If I'm bah-jiggity about this guy Peter,

it's because you're telling me I am.

- Oh, my God.

- What?

You've named the puppy.

- I did not.

- You just called him Peter.

- I did?

- You've got to feel these things.

I'm psychic and I knew his name was Peter.

- Knock your socks off.

- So soft.

Un-f***ing-believable.

F***.

I am so getting a pair.

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