The Maiden Heist Page #2

Synopsis: Three middle-age guards learn that their museum has sold a wing of art to a Danish museum. Each has a favorite in that collection, and none can imagine life without the peace and completion it brings. Though mere acquaintances, they plot a theft of the three pieces between the time they are packed and the time they're loaded onto a plane. First each must obtain a forgery; then, they have to smuggle the forgeries into the museum and find a way to make the switches. The heist is complicated by Roger's intrusive wife - he's promised her a trip to Florida for their anniversary - and George's proclivity for taking his clothes off when standing in front of the warrior statue he loves.
Genre: Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Peter Hewitt
Production: Yari Film Group
 
IMDB:
6.1
PG-13
Year:
2009
90 min
£481,378
Website
292 Views


I`m not sure.

For a second, I thought you were suggesting

that we steal the paintings.

And if I am?

We`re security guards.

We`re supposed to stop crime.

You don`t think this is a crime?

Do you know how far Denmark is?

I don`t know, Charlie.

We`re not thieves.

And besides, you and me...

I don`t see how we could do it.

It`s a silly idea.

I shouldn`t have brought it up.

-Wait, wait.

-I have to go.

I have things to do. I have responsibilities.

Thanks for the milk.

Sure.

Paintings.

Steal paintings.

-Hi.

-Charles.

Have you thought about

what we talked about yesterday?

No.

Okay, maybe a little bit. Why?

Can I show you something?

About nine months ago

they started this new program

of looking at the security tape

from the night before,

to make sure that the guards on duty

aren`t slacking off.

So I volunteered, thinking a few hours

of overtime would help.

-Hey, Tony.

-Hey, fellows.

His name is George McLendon.

He`s been a guard for 1 2 years.

Works nights twice a week.

The statue he`s looking at

is called The Bronze Warrior.

Artist unknown.

A vivid and exquisite celebration

of the male form.

The naked male form.

That`s him.

-Excuse me. Hello, how are you?

-Good, good. What can I do for you fellows?

My name is Roger Barlow.

This is Charles Peterson.

-Hi.

-We work at the museum.

-Right, I know, l`ve seen you around.

-Okay, well...

Well...

What?

You`re on the security tapes.

So?

-Well...

-Jesus.

-Where`s... Taxi! Taxi! Taxi!

-George, it`s not what you think.

George, George, George, please.

Listen, I don`t know what you think you saw,

but l`m a happily married man.

-We`re not here to judge you.

-No, we just want to talk about your statue.

We just want to talk.

You know they`re moving the exhibit,

don`t you?

That`s why we`re here.

Can we go somewhere?

The coffee shop?

-Do you know how far Denmark is?

-Yes, it`s so far away.

-lt`s too far.

-lt`s a really hard language.

Hope you don`t mind the mess.

-We don`t get very many guests.

-That`s fine. Did you do all these yourself?

I can pretty much do it from memory now.

The hand sketch on the yellow envelope

over there is my latest.

-I finished it this morning.

-These are amazing.

Thank you.

That must be George.

-Hi, George.

-Charles.

-Roger.

-Hi, George.

I hope you didn`t have any trouble

finding the place.

-No.

-Well, if you can just watch your step.

-Cats, see.

-Yeah. Where`s the model?

It`s over here.

Matisse! Come on, darling.

Bad kitty.

So this is about the best I could do,

in terms of setting up a model for us.

You know, this is the main entrance,

this is the north entrance,

this is the south entrance.

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Michael LeSieur

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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