The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean Page #2

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The Jersey Lily.

Fairest voice, softest hair,

eyes the color of a starlit night.

The most beautiful woman in all creation.

That's who that is.

Why, even princes drink champagne

from her slipper.

Look at the color of that hair.

I cannot see any color.

That's 'cause it's a bad likeness.

But even a bad likeness of Lillie Langtry...

is worth most women in the flesh.

Get back in there, child.

Who are you?

Big Bart Jackson.

This is my gang.

Tector Crites...

Whorehouse Lucky Jim...

Nick The Grub, Fermel Parlee.

- You outlaws?

- We're honest men.

Merely been driven to a life

beyond the law by circumstances.

You ever been here before?

Don't even know where I am now.

It's the Eagle's Nest,

Vinegarroon County, Texas.

Vinegarroon.

What is a "vinegarroon"?

Well, it's a Mexican word.

Means whiptail scorpion, mean as hell.

I don't want trouble from you...

only food, water

and some cactus whiskey...

if that sign's not an idle boast.

Nothing on that sign is an idle boast.

Including the law.

Got any money?

Not much.

We tried to rob the Three Rivers Flyer.

Couldn't catch him.

The passengers shot at us

from windows for sport.

Not easy being an outlaw

in times like these.

Ordinarily, I'd take you in my court

and try you and hang you.

But if you got the money for whiskey,

we can dispense with those proceedings.

- Do you get much judging around here?

- What do you mean?

I mean, what's the use of being a judge

if you ain't got no one to law?

Got a whole graveyard of previous cases.

I'll bet you could do even better

if you had more cases to try.

- That's right.

- What are you getting at?

What kind of court of law is it?

Has no marshals.

I don't need no marshals to back me up.

There's Judge Parker,

Fort Smith, Arkansas...

- Has marshals.

- Right.

- A wealthy and respected man today.

- That he is.

Marshals have to be

men of strong moral fiber.

Country like this, overrun with outlaws...

Rich in possibilities.

I see no reason why the State of Texas...

through myself, could not provide...

half the booty and loot collected

as legal property of this court.

Split up four ways, I imagine.

- Five.

- Five.

Why, the State of Texas

would probably pay a bonus each month.

You mean, a bonus for the man

that does the most to the stopping...

of banditry and "outlawlessness"

that runs rampant in this land.

Providing I was able to find men of...

sufficient moral fiber.

Raise your right hands.

Do you solemnly swear

to uphold the letter of the law...

as stated in

The Revised Statutes of Texas, 1855?

And furthermore,

do you swear solemn allegiance...

and vow to uphold

the honor of Lillie Langtry?

- I do!

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