The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp Page #4

She's a governess there.

Rather an uncomfortable billet just now.

That's just it. They hate us in Germany.

They're spreading propaganda all over Europe

that we're killing women and children

in South Africa,

starving them in camps,

shooting mothers, burning babies.

You wouldnt believe what they've invented.

Conan Doyle thinks

something ought to be done about it, too.

About what? And what's all this about a letter?

And who's Conan Doyle?

The author chap. Writes

the Sherlock Holmes stories in The Strand.

- This Doyle writes the Sherlock Holmes stories?

- Yes, sir.

CANDY:
Conan Doyle.

BETTERlDGE:
Never heard of him, but I've read

every Holmes story since they started in July '91.

- Reading The Hound Of The Baskervilles?

- That last instalment.

A bit of a facer for poor old Watson, sir.

"Lovely evening, my dear Watson.

I really think

you'll be more comfortable outside than in. '

Sarcastic devil, that fellow Holmes.

I once had a CO just like him.

He must be a rather good fellow as authors go.

He is collecting material about our campaign

in South Africa to counter German propaganda.

The Times printed an interview with me

about seven weeks ago.

Bad. A good rule to keep out of the newspapers.

Still, The Times is a bit different.

Yes, I suppose so.

In this interview, I mentioned a place

called Jordaan Siding.

I was there for seven months.

This girl writes that the worst stories of all

are being put about by a fellow called Kaunitz,

who says he saw with his own eyes

British soldiers kill 250 women and children

at Jordaan Siding in order to save feeding them.

- Do you know this fellow...Kaunitz?

- Of course, sir. He's the most awful little rat.

He was spying for us and the Boers.

He made South Africa

too hot for himself and skipped.

- Both sides would have shot him, if they could.

- What do you want me to do?

My leave isn't up for four weeks. Why shouldn't l

go to Berlin and confront this rat?

My dear boy.

First of all, it's not done.

This isn't Army business, it's Embassy.

Leave politics to the politicians.

You wouldn't like a diplomat

to come charging into the front line.

- It might do him a lot of good, sir.

- Juvenile nonsense.

Sorry, sir.

You were sent home in order to recuperate.

Your country needs you.

- Do you play golf?

- Yes, sir.

- What's your form?

- About ten, sir.

- Care for a game?

- Sorry, sir.

I'm invited by Lady Gilpin to Leicestershire.

BETTERlDGE:
Enjoyyourself.

- (Telephone rings)

Ml. Major Plumley.

- This author chap...

- Author chap, sir?

Fellow that wrote Hound Of The Baskervilles.

- Conan Doyle?

- Yes.

You didn't happen to ask him

- what happens in the next instalment?

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