The Layover Page #2

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Meg, you're missing the abs.

...with whom I spend the rest

of my life.

Why do these girls play

hard to get?

If it was up to me I'd have his

pants around his ankles...

by the first commercial.

Well, it's a game.

They're playing strategy.

...actually satisfy me

on a day-to-day basis.

I actually think I'd be pretty

good on this show.

(LAUGHS)

What's that supposed to mean?

You're hardly competitive, dear.

You don't have an aggressive

bone in your body.

Against these girls, you'd have

to put on your big-girl pants...

or they'd have you for lunch.

I think I'd describe myself as

definitely thinking outside...

Whatever.

[BACHELOR] I march to the beat

of my own drum.

Ugh.

A really nice day for me

is wak...

I actually like the whole

construction worker thing.

You know, the whole, like,

works with his hands,

salt-of-the-earth motif.

The only thing salty about him

is his balls.

Lovely, Meg.

Doesn't that just, like,

roll of your tongue-

You can have him, if I can have

the fireman from last season.

Oh, that fireman.

He was a panty-dropper.

Yes. Yes, yes, yes.

And for the record, just because

I don't sleep around...

doesn't mean I couldn't compete

against a group of women...

Did you just take a shot at me?

Was that a drive-by?

You drive-by-ed me.

"Big-girl pants"?

That was a slick move.

She's definitely getting a rose.

[BACHELOR] I know it's crazy

to give out roses before...

the first rose ceremony,

but I don't care.

You know, it's been a long day.

I think I'm gonna go to bed.

I just opened a new bottle.

Come on, let's finish it.

[KATE] No, I'm going to bed.

No morning re-cap.

I'm watching the rest.

[FEMALE CONTESTANT]

These girls mean nothing to me.

This is a nightmare.

Kate? Kate, wake up.

What, is there a fire?

No, there's no fire.

What's wrong? What's going on?

We're screwed up. Our lives,

things aren't going well.

Is it really 4:
15?

Remember in the ninth grade

when you got stung...

by that jellyfish and I peed

on you and you got really mad?

Did you take one of my pills?

You were really mad until it

stopped hurting, right?

Yeah.

When you're faced with a

life-threatening problem...

which we are, you step away

from the problem...

and in a calm, adult way,

you self-medicate...

until the solution presents

itself.

Okay.

Preferably on a beach

with a margarita.

Okay, let's talk about it.

Yes! That's my girl.

Can we plan this in the morning?

No, we gotta go.

What? Where?

Fort Lauderdale...

I used your Sky Miles.

Today?

Now! Our flight's in three

hours.

Meg, absolutely not,

that's crazy.

I'm not going on vacation right

now. You're completely insane.

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