The Last Straight Man Page #3

Get that p*ssy wet, yeah.

Seen it.

- (ON TV) Oh.

- Put something else on.

This is all the

straight porn I have.

Bullshit.

It is.

Everything else is

from my personal stash.

I don't care.

Just put something in.

Now if this is too much

for you, just say so.

Just push play, grandma.

Let's go.

(QN TV) Oh, yeah.

[moaning] Oh

Oh, f*** yeah.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

[m0afiing] Oh, yeah.

I didn't know

guys could do that.

(ow TV) Uh huh.

Gotta piss again.

[moaning sex sounds]

(QN TV) F***.

Oh, yeah.

Tough to piss when

you got a hard on.

That guys dick is huge!

So how big are you?

I don't know.

I never sized it.

YOu?

Never sized mine either.

Too bad I don't

have a tape measurer.

You don't have

a tape measurer?

Sorry.

All the times to

forget my Christian

Siriano portable sewing kit.

Well when you see a guy in

the movie who's the same size

as you, point him out.

OK.

Him.

No way.

No f***ing way.

Yeah.

Pretty close.

That is a whale of a tale.

You aren't that big.

No way.

Maybe I should show you.

I think you're right.

I've never touched

another guy's dick before.

It's OK.

You can if you want to.

Do you want to?

Yeah.

I've never sucked a cock before.

You can if you want to.

Do you want to?

Yeah.

No teeth.

What?

You're not using any teeth.

- Do you want me to?

- No.

No.

I just-- you're

really good at this.

Sure you never done this before?

L\/lrn mm.

Take your pants off.

I've had too much to drink.

I don't even know if

I can get hard again.

Let me worry about that.

Is it OK?

Yeah.

That was close.

Lewis one.

Whiskey dick, zero.

What's the matter?

Let me kiss you.

I don't want to do that.

You just had my

dick in your mouth.

You won't let me kiss you?

It's just different.

How?

Kissing is more intimate.

I want to save that.

OK.

I want to do you again.

Sure.

[moaning]

What time is it?

6:
25.

I should get up.

I gotta shower.

Yeah, cause the Wedding's

in about five hours.

I knew the affair was

doomed from the beginning.

Jeff had a beautiful wife,

two handsome children, and

a thriving peanut plantation.

He would never

give him up for me.

And truly, he would

be a fool to do so.

But he had planted a seed in me.

A seed that burned deep within.

I must have him.

Whatever it takes.

Gideon.

That was fast.

More of a rinse.

OK, I know this is stupid.

But I have to ask.

Did we do anything unsafe?

We gave Ted the

key to the minibar.

I'm serious.

Don't worry.

You're fine.

It was just intro

to homo sex 'I01.

Did I pass?

The oral exam, yes.

OK.

Good.

Just wait till we get

to the advanced classes.

Lewis, this can

never happen again.

Do you want to pray?

What?

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