The Ladykillers Page #2

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MAJOR COURTNEY.

GOOD EVENING, PROFESSOR.

I HOPE I'M NOT TOO EARLY.

NOT AT ALL. NOT AT ALL.

MRS. WILBERFORCE,

MAY I PRESENT MAJOR COURTNEY?

HOW DO YOU DO, MRS.

WILBERFORCE? I'M HONORED.

COME IN, GENTLEMEN.

COME IN.

MAY I INTRODUCE MR. LAWSON? HOW

DO YOU DO, GENTLEMEN? MR. LAWSON.

AND MR. ROBINSON.

MRS. WILBERFORCE.

- MR. ROBINSON.

- ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU.

- YOU'RE THE CELLIST, MR. LAWSON?

- UH, WHAT, MA'AM?

HE'S THE CELLIST. YEAH. I'M THE, UH-

THERE'S ONLY MR. HARVEY TO COME.

I THINK PERHAPS WE MIGHT, UH,

GO UPSTAIRS.

YES. YES.

EXCUSE ME, MRS. WILBERFORCE.

OH, I'M SO SORRY, MAJOR.

HERE.

WHAT'S ALL THIS ABOUT, DOC?

TAKE OUT YOUR INSTRUMENTS.

NOT "DOC" THIS TIME, HARRY.

PROFESSOR.

GOOD EVENING, MR. HARVEY.

IT IS MR. HARVEY, ISN'T IT?

YES, IT IS MR. HARVEY.

COME IN. COME IN.

THE OTHERS ARE ALL HERE.

OUR MRS. WILBERFORCE.

THE TEMPERAMENTAL ONE.

OH.

I DO HOPE YOU'LL BE

COMFORTABLE, GENTLEMEN. UPSTAIRS.

AND I DO WISH YOU WELL

WITH YOUR EFFORTS.

PROFESSOR MARCUS

HAS TOLD ME SO MUCH ABOUT YOU.

I REALLY MUST JUST TELL YOU

HOW VERY HAPPY I AM...

- TO HAVE YOU ALL HERE.

- THANK YOU.

WHO'S SHE?

WHAT DOES SHE MEAN

YOU TOLD HER SO MUCH ABOUT US?

WE SUPPOSED TO MAKE NOISES

WITH THESE THINGS?

WHAT KIND OF NOISES?

WHO IS SHE?

NOT NOISES,

ONE ROUND, MUSIC.

I SAID, WHAT DOES SHE MEAN, YOU

- SHH.

I TELL YOU,

IT MAKES NO SENSE.

IF WE HAVE TO HAVE SOMEONE TO BRING

OUT THE MONEY, LET'S GET A PROFESSIONAL.

WE'LL BRING IT OUT OURSELVES. MAKE

A SPECTACULAR GETAWAY, YOU MEAN.

AT 70 MILES AN HOUR IN THE HEAR OF LONDON IN BROAD DAYLIGHT.

WE'LL TAKE IT BACK INTO THE STATION

- AND SEND IT OUT BY TRAIN.

WHAT ANY INTELLIGENT POLICEMAN

WOULD EXPECT US TO DO.

YOU'VE QUITE A FLAIR,

LOUIS, FOR THE OBVIOUS.

CAN'T YOU APPRECIATE THAT MRS. WILBERFORCE

IS NOT A MERE APPENDAGE TO MY PLAN,

SHE'S THE VERY CORE OF IT.

A LOPSIDED OLD GRANDMA.

YEAH.

HOW DO WE KNOW WE CAN TRUST HER TO DO I RIGHT IF SHE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT SHE'S DOING?

ONE ROUND?

SWEET LITTLE OLD LADY LIKE HER,

IT JUST DON'T SEEM RIGHT...

FOR HER TO BE WORKING WITH US

ON A STICKUP CAPER.

I TELL YOU, I DON'T LIKE OLD LADIES.

I DON'T LIKE HAVING THEM AROUND.

I CAN'T STAND THEM.

I THOUGHT PERHAPS BEFORE

YOU'VE ALL BECOME TOO ABSORBED,

YOU AND YOUR GUESTS

MIGHT LIKE A CUP OF TEA.

OH, YOU SHOULDN'T.

YOU KNOW, PROFESSOR,

YOU DIDN'T TELL ME

THE TRUTH ABOUT YOURSELF...

AND THESE OTHER GENTLEMEN.

YOU'RE NOT THE LEAST BI LIKE AMATEURS.

YOU REALLY MUST BE PROFESSIONALS.

YOU'RE EVERY BIT AS GOOD.

NOT QUITE. THOUGH WE ARE

RATHER PROUD...

OF MR. HARVEY'S TIMBRE.

AND THAT PIZZICATO PASSAGE,

MR. LAWSON- QUITE DELIGHTFUL.

MAY I ASK YOU WHERE YOU STUDIED?

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