The Kiss Page #2

-So why don't you hire somebody?

-We can't exactly afford it now.

-Why don't you let me help?

-I don't want you hitting the vodka.

Hey, Amy, how you doing?

Hi, Terry.

Come see me at the shop sometime,

all right?

Okay.

-Brenda?

-ln here, Amy.

Does this thing work?

Oh, I doubt it.

After I put that bastard

through med school...

...the only stuff my ex left me

was either broken...

...or things he thought

I might kill myself with.

Blonde Venus, Marlene Dietrich.

How come she's dressed up

like a gorilla?

Style.

Is that Cary Grant?

She sleeps with him to get money

for her wimpy husband's hospital bills.

Some sacrifice.

-Brenda.

-What, honey?

Do you think I'm old enough

to have a boyfriend?

Well, that depends, my dear Amy.

Do you have someone special

in mind?

You do. Who is it?

His name's Terry O'Connell.

He's got a bad rep,

but I think it's mainly bullshit.

He's so different.

The road to ruin is paved

with "different" boyfriends.

Do you think I'm old enough...

...to have sex?

Well, that depends.

It's up to you.

What's the rush?

I'm the only virgin left

out of all my friends.

As embarrassing

as that may seem...

...do yourself a big favor and wait

till that someone special comes along.

-Did you?

-Oh, yeah. I picked a real winner.

Have you had lunch yet? Oh, forget it.

Tomato sandwich coming up.

So?

So...

...he was voted the Micky Dolenz

look-alike in high school.

Back then, I thought

he was terribly romantic.

Now, I'd vote him

as having the personality...

...of this head of lettuce.

Anyway, he asked me out,

and I died.

And afterwards, we checked into

this very glamorous motel room...

...and we sat there drinking

our lemon gin and 7 UP.

Very chic.

And things started getting

very hot and heavy.

And...

...well, we started--

-Do you want mayo?

-Brenda!

-What?

-Tell me!

Well, soon, I mean,

one thing led to another...

...and we started to do it.

Did it hurt?

Are you kidding? It hurt like hell.

No, no, no. I was ready for that.

What really freaked me out is,

it was pitch black by now...

...and I looked down, and something

was glowing in the dark.

And it was his thing.

It was glowing green.

-What?

-He was wearing...

...a glow-in-the-dark condom.

Can you believe it?

I couldn't watch it. I lost it.

I started killing myself laughing,

and I couldn't stop.

Poor guy is probably still

seeing a shrink over me.

Eat, or you'll never grow up

to be a gorilla.

Come on, honey. It's okay.

You're Jack?

Yes.

I'm sorry. I didn't expect

to meet you this way.

I'm so embarrassed.

I should have called.

I am Felice Dunbar.

-Hilary's sister.

-Hello.

This is Amy, our daughter.

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