The Karate Dog Page #2

A really big gun.

COLAR, lights.

Hey, how'd you get here

all the way from Chin Li's?

Okay, I'm going

to talk now.

Whatever you do,

try to remain calm.

Ahhhh!

Well, I was hoping

for a little calmer than that.

I warned you

not to turn on the light.

Uh-huh, you're upset.

Okay, you're upset.

I know; I'm upset too.

My best friend

just died in my arms.

Took the heart right out of me,

believe me.

Okay, enough.

I need your help.

I came here because I know

you're the one who can help me.

Please just tell me

I didn't make a mistake.

H-h-how are you doing that?

What?

(Peter)

Talking like a human.

It's easy.

It's like riding a bike.

Incidentally,

I'm pretty good at that too.

Just trying to loosen you

up a little, Fowler.

Must be some sort

of voice transmitter.

(Cho Cho)

Jeez, humans.

Boy, you don't mind

if we squat on the lawn

or anywhere else

for that matter,

but trying having a simple

conversation and, "Woof!"

It's the end of the world.

[chuckles]

Good God.

Hey, watch it, pal.

I don't know you

well enough yet.

As far as you're concerned,

I'm neutered.

(Peter)

I don't believe this.

There's no microphone.

Must be some sort of

computer-generated hologram.

You haven't heard

a word I've said, have you?

All right, we'll try it again,

Detective Foul-up.

It was not a simple robbery.

The guys who killed Chin Li

were professional assassins.

And what would

professional assassins want

with some old man who could...

Oh, my God.

I'm having

a conversation with a dog.

Oh, boy.

Okay, okay.

[exhales]

I'm a scientific investigator.

Approach this calmly,

logically, and rationally.

Now, this should interesting.

Dogs don't talk!

It's not possible.

It's not... possible.

(Cho Cho)

Sure it's possible.

Lookit, I can

even do impressions.

[impersonating Peter]

Dogs don't talk!

Pretty good, huh?

Want to see my Britney Spears?

Cut that out.

Just kidding, just kidding.

Got any chow?

Chow?

Frozen pizza, cheese logs,

fast food leftovers, bacon bits.

Don't you have anything

that doesn't clog your arteries?

How about dog food?

Dog food would be good.

Hey, Naked Chef,

could we talk about the talking?

Oof.

Okay.

Pay attention, now.

Chin Li was a great Zen master.

He... he wanted me to talk.

He willed it.

Are you with me?

So Chin Li taught you to talk?

Yeah.

Actually, all dogs talk.

You mean, so those people

you see in the park

talking to their dogs...

They're not nuts?

They're actually

speaking to 'em?

No, those people are nuts.

Look, it's simple.

Dogs talk dog talk;

horses talk horse talk;

aardvarks talk...

Oddly enough, they talk German.

No, I'm just kidding.

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