THE IT CROWD (2006–2013) Page #2

Season #1 Episode #1 - 'Yesterday's Jam'
Synopsis: Jen starts at Reynholm industries as the IT Manager. But it turns out she dosen't know anything about computers.
Genre: Comedy
Year:
2006
6,757 Views


Roy:
Oh, don't be silly you'd never disturb us.. (falls over)

No, err... many people come down here to visit.

Moss:
What are you talking about. Who comes down? What people? Why are you giving me the secret signal to shut up?

Roy:
So, what can we do you for?

Jen:
I'm the new head of this department. Is this my office?

(Jen goes into he office)

Roy:
Did she just... I am the head of this department!

Moss:
I thought I was.

Roy It's one of us. It's certainly not her. I'm going to sort this out.

(goes to Jen's office)

Moss:
Roy, you've got a head wound there. Head wound!

Roy:
I don't want to be rude or anything but I wasn't informed of any changes to this department.

Jen:
Oh did they not tell you about me?

Roy:
No, and we are perfectly fine down here thank you very much. We are more than capable of taking care of ourselves.

Jen:
Sure. Sure. You know you're covered in blood.

(Postman enters main office and drops a package onto Moss' desk)

Postman:
Moss. Amazon thingy.

Moss:
Ahh wicked. I know what this is. It's the new Harry Potter. I got the child edition and the adult edition just to check there are no differences in the text.

(Roy enters from Jen's office)

Roy:
Sorry but I'm not going to be able to deal with that woman. Is nobody else going to get the phone. I suppose I'll get it. No, that is not a phone. I'm going to have a little lie down.

Scene 5

(Moss knocks on Jen's door)

Jen:
Come in.

(Jen pretends to be talking to Denholm on the phone)

Jen:
Yeah, Denholm. Yeah, yeah, no n-n-n-no, no they've been fine so far. Yeah, I think we're going to get on great. Yeah I know, alright then, no you take care, alright, yeah I will, yeah, okay take care, take care, okay bye, bye.

So, hello, what can I do you for... what can I do for you?

Moss:
Hallo. I was just wondering: do you want me to connect up your phone?

Jen:
No n-n-n-n-n-n-no. It's working. Errm I was just talking to Denholm there.

(Moss picks up phone which clearly has no connections)

Moss:
But how?

Jen:
Would you mind, closing the door for me?

Moss:
Oh yeah, sure.

Jen:
Yeah, from the other side.

Moss:
Of course. Like this.

Jen:
That's it.

Moss:
With me on the...

Jen:
Thanks.

Moss:
Oh.

(Roy enters. Head bound in bandages)

Are you alright?

Roy:
Ahh yes Moss I'm fine. Nurse said I didn't do any serious damage.

Moss:
I'm standing over here.

Roy:
I know, I know, I'm joking. I'm fine. What are we going to do about her?

Moss:
Well, I just went in and she was having a pretend conversation.

Roy:
Really?

Moss:
Yes. she's a little bit weird to say the least.

(sprays his ear)

Roy:
What's that?

Moss:
Oh, just water. Sometimes I get a hot ear and this helps cool it down. She is quite the oddball. Did you notice how she didn't even get excited when she saw this original ZX81?

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Graham Linehan

Graham Linehan (/ˈlɪnəhæn/, born 22 May 1968) is an Irish television writer. He created or co-created the sitcoms Father Ted (1995–1998), Black Books (2000–2004) and The IT Crowd (2006–2013). He has also written for Count Arthur Strong, Brass Eye and The Fast Show. After an episode of The IT Crowd was criticised as transphobic, Linehan became an anti-transgender activist, arguing that transgender activism endangers women and likening the use of puberty blockers to Nazi eugenics programmes. In 2020, he was suspended from the social network Twitter for "repeated violations" of the rules. more…

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Submitted by Soulwriter on June 14, 2021

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