The Inbetweeners Page #2

that would be true for me...

would be if I went straight from school

to prison and stayed there until I died.

How many times is that

she's caught you now?

Four. But this was the worst.

Mask, snorkel, ham.

OK, one last one for luck.

Ooooh!

Good. Old-school wedgie.

To be admired, in a way.

Squashing the balls now.

Ooh! That does not tickle!

Argh!

Mark! What the f***

do you think you're doing? Put him down.

All right, calm down.

Just saying goodbye to Bender Squad.

- Have a nice life, d*ckheads.

- Oh, grow up! God!

- Are you OK, Will?

- Fine! Slightly chafed arse crack,

- but, no, basically fine, thanks.

- Hi, Simon.

OK, well, bye, then.

F***ing b*tch.

Is she?

No.

Oh, God... I just really miss her.

It's all right, mate. I understand.

Anyone would miss those tits.

- It's not that, Neil.

- Is it her lovely snatch?

- No.

- I know it feels rough now, Si,

but you just need to give it some time.

I'm just worried I'll never get over her.

- I can help you with that!

- Can you?

Yeah! From now on, every time

you mention the Moanatronic 5000,

- you get a slap in the balls.

- Do you mean Carli?

Ow! For f***'s sake, Jay!

- You were warned.

- How's that helping?!

Stopped you from crying like a baby,

for one.

So my life is still ruined,

but now my balls ache too. Thanks, Jay

No, your life is just about to begin,

mate!

Now you've been dumped, we can all go

on a mental holiday together.

Two weeks of sun, sea, sex, sand, booze,

sex, minge, fanny and tits.

And booze.

And sex!

He's put it horrifically,

but he's probably right.

A holiday would definitely

take your mind off her.

Plus, it's the perfect time to go.

Yeah, they say the summer is

the perfect time for a summer holiday.

Come on, Si, what do you say?

The lads on tour!

- And you.

- Yes, and me! One of the lads.

Yeah, f*** it, go on, then.

Maybe it will help.

Course it will!

And, I promise you, Si,

we'll go somewhere

so full of fit birds,

it'll be like shooting

clunge in a barrel.

What a lovely image

So, that was it.

We were no longer schoolboys.

And to prove our independence,

we were off on the holiday of a lifetime

without our parents...

after we'd made them pay for it.

I know this is the first time you've ever

been away from me, but don't go crazy.

When have I ever gone crazy?!

That time you drank all that shandy

at Debra's wedding. You went pretty wild!

- I was seven years old!

- He was running round, his pants down,

shouting, "I've got a white slug!"

- Mum!

- Oh, hello, Kevin!

Looks like just Jay

we're waiting for, then.

Yes, it does "look like" that,

doesn't it? God! Sorry about her.

Are you all right, Neil?

Your face is a bit weird.

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