The In-Laws Page #2

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- Coupe de Ville?|- That's them.

Are you okay|or are you gonna be totally hostile?

I'm fine. I'm fine.

Will you ever forgive me?

- Please, come in.|- Welcome.

- Count on Vince.|- It's my fault. I had business in Canada.

And damn Canadians,|they never stop talking.

I know what it's like.

You must be the lovely mother|of the bride.

I am.

Now I know where Barbara|gets her good looks.

We're very glad you're here.|I'm Sheldon Kornpett.

I'm just thrilled to meet you.

Tommy says you were the first dentist|to use that drill that spritzes water.

Among the first in New York.|Why are we standing in the hallway?

- Please, come in and have a drink?|- Well, I certainly could use one.

- Shelley, have you...?|- People, I hate to say this. But if we...

...don't sit down right away,|that roast beef is going to be inedible.

Well, I'm starving.

I'll take the drink orders in there,|and I'll make them up myself.

- I'm petrified.|- My dad was a maniac before you came.

Vince, how long did you|actually live in Guatemala?

He was gone for ages.

I was in the jungle, the bush,|we called it...

...for approximately nine months.|- Nine months?

My God, that really must|have been something.

Sheldon, it was unbelievable.|I saw things...

They have tsetse flies down there|the size of eagles. Really.

In the evening, I would stand in front|of my hut and watch in horror...

...as these giant flies would pick children|off the ground and carry them away.

- My God.|- Oh, the things he told us.

Oh, it was an incredible sight.|Peasants screaming...

...chasing these flies down the road,|waving brooms.

You can imagine|the pathetic quality of this.

Waving these crudely fashioned brooms|at these enormous flies...

...as they carried their children off|to almost certain death.

Oh, my, that is just|the most horrible thing.

You're sure these are flies|you're talking about?

Flies.

Natives had a name for them.

Jos Grecos de Muertos.

"Flamenco dancers of death."

You took those slides of them|that never came out, remember?

That's a shame. I really would've|liked to have seen those slides.

Yeah, I left them in a jacket|that got Martinized.

They would've won me|the Pulitzer Prize.

The enormous flies flapping|slowly away into the sunset.

Small brown babies|clutched in their beaks.

Beaks? Flies with beaks?

A sight I'll never forget.|I was stunned. Appalled.

What did you do?

What did I do?

As a consultant,|what did you do about the flies?

Sadly, there is very little you can do due|to the tremendous red tape in the bush.

- There's red tape in the bush?|- Enormous red tape, Sheldon.

These flies, for example.

They're protected against pilferage|under the Guacamole Act of 1917.

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