The House Page #2

---

- (CHUCKLES)

- Think it's time for an Alex sandwich?

BOTH:
Mmm.

Please stay, please stay.

BOTH:
Stay, stay, stay.

- Okay. Okay, I'll stay.

- SCOTT AND KATE: Yes.

- (ZOMBIES SNARLING)

- (SCOTT AND KATE MOANING)

- Brains.

- Brains.

Oh, no! Oh, no!

Brains.

(SQUELCHING)

KATE:
Whoa!

- Oh, my God!

- SCOTT:
Oh!

(GAVEL BANGING)

BOB:
All right, town.

We'd now like to open up

the floor to its citizens.

First up on the docket,

Council would like to

recognize Officer Chandler.

Good afternoon.

Last Tuesday night at

approximately 3:
14 a.m.,

vandals spray-painted what

appears to be a male penis

and accompanying genitalia

on the high school football field.

It has since been removed.

BOB:
All right.

Town would like to

recognize Frank Theodorakis.

$1,500 of fines

for the height of my hedges.

This is bullshit, Bob.

Screw this town.

I am out of here.

Right after I say this.

Raina, baby, please come home.

- You're my wife.

- Oh, God.

- I love you, and I want you to come home.

- Frank, shut up. Stop it.

This is the only time I can

be in the same room with you.

- Come home!

- Just not here!

SCOTT:
It's not going the

way you think it's going.

I want it, but I've gotta turn

this around. Raina, just...

- Stop it. Go. Just...

- FRANK:
Oh, come on!

RAINA:
And where the

hell is our car, Frank?

BOB:
Well, looks like

Fox Meadow's having

its own little soap

opera play out here.

I'm sorry.

No need to apologize to us.

Just apologize to yourself

for making a bad decision.

On a bad man.

Moving on to the next issue.

If we could, please.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Fox Meadow's most exciting project,

the town pool!

- (APPLAUSE)

- (GASPS OF AWE)

What?

BOB:
The actual pool

will be five pools,

picnic area, playground,

state-of-the-art

locker room,

and the best food court

in the tri-state area.

(CLEARS THROAT) All

right, the last item

on today's agenda is 207-G,

that is the Fox Meadow Scholarship,

rewarding one hardworking

high school student...

This is us. He's talking about us.

by paying their college tuition.

This year's recipient is none

other than Alex Johansen.

- Alex Johansen.

- Alex... Yes!

Unfortunately, the town is facing

some devastating

budget cuts this year

and I'm afraid the

scholarship is an indulgence

that the town can no longer afford.

- (GASPS)

- (CROWD MURMURING)

(BOTH STAMMERING)

All right, so if that is

it, then we can move on.

- Hold on, please.

- Bob...

Are you saying that you don't

have money for the scholarship,

but you have money for the town pools?

Look, I would love to give

Alex this scholarship.

Heck, I'd love to give

everybody a free education.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote