The Golden Boys Page #2

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You see, Chatham's not big enough

to have its own newspaper.

Come on, boy.

So...

...the Almighty gave us Melissy, I guess...

...as a sort of a substitute.

You play pool, Mr. Hazeltine?

Sure. Sometimes.

Yeah. Come on, Daniel.

Good boy.

John.

This is Mr. Hazeltine.

He's the new man at the cable station.

Mr. Hazeltine, this is

my friend John Bartlett.

- Captain John Bartlett.

- Nice to meet you, sir.

So I brought those barrels up for you.

Thanks, Zeb.

I'll probably be up sometime tomorrow.

I want to talk to you about that...

...billiard room business.

God Almighty's got his eye on that place...

...and on them that's running it.

Well, then, it's in good hands...

...and we won't have to worry, do we?

Boy, am I glad to see you.

First of all...

...how do you spell "conscientious"?

I don't.

What would you want to spell it for?

We've writ about 400

of these advertisements...

...and ain't one of them fit to feed a pig.

Perez has got such fancy notions...

...that only a circus bill

would make him feel happy.

I don't see why we can't have

something plain and simple...

...like, "Woman needed to wash dishes...

...and clean house for three men. "

Why wouldn't that be all right?

That's really going to get you...

...an answer from a woman

in a hurry, isn't it?

"Woman to wash dishes for three men"?

You think that that's a bait

to get you a wife?

Come on! You got to do better than that.

You got to be... I don't know...

soft-soap them...

...a little more high-toned, sir.

You got to make them think

that you're a catch!

I am a great catch...

...like you're talking about.

Pass me that pen.

Wife wanted...

...by ex-seafaring man...

...of...

...steady habits.

Willing to work...

...and keep house...

...shipshape...

...and aboveboard.

No sea lawyers...

...need apply.

Address...

- "Skipper. "

- Good.

I liked that bit about sea lawyers.

It'll keep the loose-tongued

ones away.

Well, Jerry.

Now all you have to do

is pick yourself out a wife...

...and tell us what you want

for a wedding present.

A divorce.

Mighty sharp buggy, Web.

Good day to you, gentlemen.

Nice weather.

Good for picking

them cranberries, I hear.

Slick. Slick.

Now that he got

that rum-selling license...

...he'll be purring just like a cat.

I'm all right with cats...

...but there's something about a cat man.

- How do you do, Captain?

- Mrs. Small.

What a surprise to see you here.

I swear if you ain't been a stranger.

Ezekial, get up and give

Captain Hedge your chair.

No, no.

Don't go to all that trouble, Mrs. Small.

I'll just sit over there on the sofa

with Captain Bartlett.

- Hey, John.

- Hey, Zeb.

I didn't expect to see you here.

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