The Girl Can't Help It Page #2

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I took my first trip to the continent.

Look. I was kind of

a talent scout myself then.

Slim Murdock relaxes on Riviera.

While New York crime commission

seeks his extradition...

Slim Murdock,

slot machine king...

puts on weight making whoopee

with European bathing beauties.

Nice goin', Fats.

"Fats."

That European cuisine and no work

put the lard on.

Gave me a moniker I never could lose.

Well, I had me a time over there.

Then I got lonely for my native land.

You know,

"Breeds there a man with soul so dead."

You know that one?

Well, my lawyer tells me the heat's off.

So I come home.

But I don't know till I'm back...

my lawyer's disbarred.

Atlanta Penitentiary,

the future home of Fats Murdock...

indicted on three counts

of income tax evasion.

Now comes the sad part.

Fats, handcuffed,

arrives to start prison term...

on tip supplied T-men

by Legs Wheeler.

A colorful figure,

Fats will lose that color behind bars.

A big man once.

Now, just another number.

Fats Marty.

Of course.

The top boy behind the slot machines.

I should have remembered.

Sorry, Fats.

L-

It's all right, Tommy boy.

It's all right.

Nobody remembers Fats no more,

Tommy boy.

But things used to be different.

I'd drive down those streets

and scare people silly.

I was somebody.

Used to get a brand-new,

bulletproof convertible every year...

ringside tables, best box at the Polo Grounds

right next to the mayor's.

You know what I mean?

- [Sighs]

- I know.

Now I'm so dead, I don't even rate

a mention in one of those scandal magazines.

You used to be a big man.

You don't like to be small potatoes.

You wanna come back, don't you?

I sure can't go back any further.

- Then we're in business, right?

- Right.

- What business?

- Show business.

I got a dame, see.

A nice, sweet, innocent dame.

I'm nuts about her,

but she's a nobody.

How can I marry a nobody?

You saw.

I was up there once.

That's where you come in.

You're gonna make her into a star.

Then the dame and me,

we got mutual interests.

We're, uh-

We're compatible, maybe even happy.

For openers, I pay all your bills.

So you got nothin' to worry about

except to concentrate...

on buildin' the dame

into a big canary.

Only remember, hands off,

like you got the rep for.

You'll take me out of hock?

Besides 10 g's now,

advance against your 10%...

besides a drawin' account for songs...

special materials, special arrangements,

et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

- It's a deal?

- It's a deal.

Signed, sealed, and now... delivered!

- Hey, Mousie!

- Yeah, boss?

Bring in my future star.

- Yeah, boss.

- Easy, Fats.

You know, you just can't take any girl

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