The Fourth Dimension Page #3

Everyone got straight F's.

Everyone got straight F's.

Everyone got straight F's.

Everyone got straight F's.

The cafeteria food

was basically poison.

Some of these teachers had metal

plates in their heads.

And one teacher coughed

up a lung.

But I realized I could

change the world.

And if I could, I would.

And I would make everything

the opposite of my school

experience, and I have.

Wow,

that is beautiful.

You're beautiful.

You're

getting so

much better at that.

Sounds so nice.

Thank you.

And you're perfect like

the fireflies.

Did you see one tonight?

No.

Oh, it

was so great.

Light up the world.

How many of you

have won the lottery?

No one, because lottery

is code for moron.

Moron!

If you are a person

that's addicted to the

lottery, then I want you to cut

off one of your fingers

with a steak knife.

I want you to put it

in a glass jar.

I want you to put in a glass jar

and put it in your child's

bed at night next

to their head.

And when your kid

asks, why am I sleeping under

a severed finger?

You should say, it's a reminder

of my great idiocy.

The lottery is a scam.

How many of you

hate job interviews?

How many of you hate

job interviews?

Yeah, job interviews suck.

Stare at the person next to

you in a job interviewer.

Stare at him!

Stare at him!

When you go to a job interview,

wear loose pants.

Wear loose pants.

Do not wear velvet when you

go to a job interview.

Velvet killed Elvis.

Velvet killed him!

Velvet

killed Elvis.

How many of you like safe sex?

Safe sex can also be unusual

and glamorous and perfect.

But velvet killed Elvis.

Velvet killed Elvis.

Sometimes it's

all so beautiful.

I don't know what to

do with myself.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, Val,

I know what you mean.

Who loves

hardcore?

Suck it up, drain it down,

squeeze it out, push it until

it floats out.

Love is hardcore.

Love is hardcore.

Love is hardcore.

Love is hardcore.

CROWD CHANTING "LOVE

IS HARD CORE"]

I'm a drill sergeant

to your heart.

I'm a drill sergeant

to your heart.

The oil is gold, and

it's cotton candy.

I have children.

Do you have children?

I had my first child born

in the hospital.

I had a great doctor.

He was from Syria.

He'd been an army general.

When he was

delivering the baby, he looked

at, and he winked.

He whispered in my ear,

this is easy as pie.

Just have to deliver a baby

with the right tools.

When I had my second child with

my ex-wife, I bought a

swimming pool.

I was determined to have

the baby myself,

born in my back yard.

When the baby shot out, I

realized I needed to cut the

umbilical cord.

I looked around.

I noticed I didn't have anything

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes