The Football Factory Page #3

you should have seen your f***in' face.

I thought you was gonna burst into tears.

What is it, four, five...

eight lagers, Donna, please, babe.

There'll be none of this in Australia.

As of next week,

strictly the amber nectar.

Not to worry, William.

I think I'm more of a cocktail man anyway.

Well, I won't be sitting next to you.

Well, that was the idea.

Bill, Albert,

I didn't see you there. Wanna pint?

My grandad didn't like Bright.

Knew he was a bully.

Bill and Albert were just kids

when they did their National Service.

They were one of the first off the

landing crafts on June 6th.

Bill aways told me the only thing that kept him

going was Albert's determination and will to live.

They came home proud war heroes

and married

their childhood sweethearts.

And buried 'em together as well.

The council moved Albert to the flat above Bill

and they swapped door keys,

always vowing to keep an eye

on each other.

Very funny. Very, very funny!

- Are you all right?

- Yeah, yeah.

Now a little one. Now a little one.

That's it, now let me get the door.

Let me get the door.

I'll be right in there.

Comfy? Do you want any help with that?

Bet you've seen some changes,

eh, you two? Yeah.

Bit different nowadays,

though, innit, eh? Gone.

It's the Pakis coming over in the '70s, see.

Taking over everything. Spoilt it.

And what you got now, eh?

What you got now?

F***in' asylum seekers.

Bloody Tony f***in' Blair.

He's gotta be a poof, ain't he? New Labour?

I mean, and this game's gone.

There was a time I used to be able to clear

seven and a half, eight hundred shots a week.

Not any more. Nah.

Now what you got is your f***in' spades

up in Soho moonlighting!

Moonlighting!

F***'s sake, that's a joke!

You need a full moon just to see 'em!

This country was built on

good people like yourselves.

Not enough of you about,

that's what I say.

Here, let me give you a hand with that.

Swing your old arse round in there, look.

That's it, lovely.

And I just want to say, it's been a privilege

to drive two gentlemen like you.

And the fare's on me.

Don't be silly.

You're letting the wheelchair fool you.

No, I insist.

It's been an honour.

Don't forget, you watch

out for them darkies, eh?

What a wanker.

Let's go dancing.

Although he talked a lot of bollocks,

in some ways the cabbie was right.

Bill was what put the Great into Britain.

He was an old war hero.

But he'd moved on.

It was Australia for him and Albert now.

Somewhere they could live out

the rest of their days in the sun.

Hello, Mavis, my little darling.

How are you?

I shall be sad to see you both gone, Bill.

Are you packed up yet?

Course we have.

Ain't you gonna say goodbye?

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