The Fluffy Movie: Unity Through Laughter Page #3

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and say, "Really, bro?

"You're going to put

that in your mouth?

"Do you know what that's

going to do to your body?

"Hey! Have some self-re..."

He doesn't. He really doesn't, so...

So let me tell you guys.

I'm in the doctor's office,

and he tells me.

He says, "Listen, Gabriel,

obviously working out isn't cutting it.

"I have a friend who

specializes in gastric bypass,

"and I think it would

benefit you greatly

"to at least listen to what the

guy has to say. It couldn't hurt."

So he hands me a card.

The card says, "BH Surgical Center."

I make an appointment.

I show up to this place.

I get to the door.

The door doesn't say,

"BH Surgical Center."

It actually says,

"Center for the Morbidly Obese."

Yeah. That sh*t's not cure.

So I figure I'm there, I might as

well check it out, so I walk in.

I go over to the receptionist,

and I ask, "Um, right spot?"

And she was cool. She was like,

"Yes, sir, you're in

the right location."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Absolutely."

"Why does it say,

"Center for the Morbidly

Obese' on the door?"

"The doctors prefer it that way."

"Why don't you have

that on the card?"

"'Cause then you won't come in.

"First time?"

"Yeah, first time."

So she hands me a clipboard,

and she goes,

"Please take this clipboard,

and have a seat.

"They'll call you in a few minutes."

So I turn around, and I

sit down on this couch,

and I start filling

out the paperwork.

And it wasn't like insurance

forms and stuff like that.

It was actually more of

like a questionnaire.

They ask you a bunch of questions,

and you have to answer from one to 10

how unhealthy you think you are,

and it's not going good. It's not.

I'm like, "Uh, frigging eight,

eight, nine, nine, nine, nine,

"10, nine, nine, 10, nine,

"10,10,10,10,10,10,10."

And as I'm filling our the paperwork,

outside the door, I hear...

All of a sudden, the door opens up,

and this dude walks in...

I was like, "Oh, my God!

You're morbid."

Immediately, my score got better.

I'm like, "Shoot.

"I'm a four, four, three,

three, three, two, two, two,

"one, one, one, one,

one, one, one, one, one.

"I'm healthy by default."

He makes his way over

to the receptionist,

and she's like,

"Are you here for the 8:30?"

"Is this your first time here?"

"Because the doctors

prefer it that way."

"'Cause then you won't

come in. Oh, God!

"Take this clipboard,

and have a seat.

"They'll call you in a few minutes."

So he turns around,

and he looks at me and my sofa,

and he's like...

I swear it was like the opening

scene to the movie Pacific Rim.

He's like...

I was like...

"No! No one's sitting here!"

"Yeah. It's all you, bro."

He turns around,

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