The First Turn-On
- R
- Year:
- 1983
- 88 min
- 55 Views
[music playing]
NARRATOR:
Ah, nature,it's beautiful
enjoy it than a summer camp.
Welcome to Camp
Big Teepee, a place
where children come
year after year
to gain the experience that
only a summer camp can provide.
[clears throat] Experiences
that will last a lifetime.
Children will learn to
share-- to make friends--
they'll learn to swim and
acquire valuable skills
such as woodworking.
[evil laughter]
[scream]
Yes, Camp Big Teepee provides
My chest grew a quarter
of an inch since last week.
NARRATOR:
Andeveryone will learn
the value of determination
and self-restraint.
Could it be three days
without wetting my bed?
Three d-- two-- two days.
[laughter]
NARRATOR:
Yes,campers will be guided
by the very
responsible counselors
who are always on the ball.
Dick.
And Jane.
Oh, Dick.
Why Jane.
Ah!
Oh, Dick.
See Spot run.
Oh, yes!
NARRATOR:
But mostimportant, children are
taught to appreciate nature.
Ah, the forest--
such a wondrous place.
Come campers, let us explore.
If we keep our
eyes and ears open,
we might just be
able to see some
of natures busy little creatures
Now, listen
carefully, this region
abounds with many
of the furry animals
such as raccoon and beaver.
Watch your step.
It's hard to see
where you're going.
Ah!
[screams]
NARRATOR:
Our story beginson the last day of camp.
WOMAN (ON SPEAKER):
Attention campers--
like report for
totally grody mess hall
because it's the super-mom end
of the summer speech thing, OK?
Campers, it has been
a productive summer.
I know we've all come a
long way in six weeks.
We've had fun.
But we've matured.
Ah, phooey!
Now, don't forget
to tell mom and dad
what a terrific
time you've had so
that you can all come back next
year to be further enriched.
And we can all make more
money-- uh, friends.
WOMAN (ON SPEAKER):
Attention campers,
OK, like, go to your whoa, hey,
like assigned activities, OK?
Now follow me girls
and do exactly as I do.
One, two, stretch.
One, two, stretch.
One, two, stretch.
Girls-- do exactly as I
do. [frog sound] Ooh.
[scream]
[screams]
The morning activity
is nature again?
Oh, I hate nature!
Nature hunt?
I want to go shoot some hoops.
It's a nature hike.
And that means a lot of walking.
And I hope we're back
in time for lunch.
so doe that nature
counselor, Miss Farmer.
Yeah.
OK, campers, today the main
emphasis of our nature walk
will deal with the
study of symbiosis.
Does anybody know
what that means?
Symbiosis?
Mitchell?
Huh?
Symbiosis-- uh, yeah.
My mother had that once.
But then she got some mouthwash.
Now it's all better, huh?
No.
No, Mitchell.
Mitch.
Hey, where'd you get that?
You want to get high?
Sure.
Hey, what are guys doing?
Hey, bug off, shithead.
Yeah, bigshot, you want a hit?
Yeah, sure.
OK, great.
Let's go.
Oh, I'm always starved
after I smoke pot.
I have no food.
Oh, come on, Annie.
Let's ask Henry.
He's always got lots of food.
Hey, Henry, you want a hit?
Huh?
You want a hit?
No, don't hit me.
Don't hit me.
Please don't do that.
-No, no, no.
Do you want to smoke some grass?
Oh, sure
Let's continue our nature hike.
Let's see if we can find
some specific examples
of symbiotic relationships.
F*** this nature sh*t.
Let's go smoke the grass.
[music playing]
Hey, guys!
I've got the grass.
Come on.
Let's smoke it.
Follow me, guys.
I know just the place.
Hey, Henry, where are we going?
Come on.
It's right here.
I come here all the time.
Oh!
Yuck.
Watch out for the
rabbit sh*t, guys.
Hey, uh, Dan, you
got that lantern?
It's dark in there.
You go first.
Who me?
Yeah, come on.
Go ahead.
Come on, Danny.
Come on.
DANNY:
Why do I have togo in the hole first?
MITCH:
Because douchebags go in the hole first.
DANNY:
Are sureit's safe in here?
Come on.
ANNIE:
Mitch, you behind me?MITCH:
I'm right on your tail.Come on, you guys, my
place is just around here.
Wow!
Oh, sh*t.
So do you guys want to
go by the onyx formation
that looks like popcorn?
Or the one that
looks like donuts?
Donuts.
Yeah, donuts.
[fart]
Henry, you farted
right in my face.
HENRY:
Sorry, cheesesandwiches do that to me.
Oh, the giant grape.
Where is it?
Right here.
And for your
post-joint enjoyment,
I always keep a
little food here just
for these kind of emergencies.
Good going, Henry.
Mitchell, can you tell
me the name of that plant?
Mitchell?
Where's Mitchell?
Where's Annie?
Miss Farmer, I saw them
leave with a funny cigarette.
What?
Yeah.
Now, now, now, don't panic.
Now you children
stay right here.
I'll be right back.
Now, don't move.
Do you understand me?
Dont' move.
Yes, Miss Farmer.
Screw here, let's go.
[coughing]
DANNY:
Smooth stuff.Hey, Danny, come over here
and take a hit of this.
DANNY:
Ouch!MITCH:
No, you idiot.Smoke the other end.
Those a**holes, I knew
I couldn't trust them.
[sniffing]
Oh, sinsemilla.
Those kids have good taste.
Sh*t, if I can only
get my hands on them.
Is it imported?
You bet.
Well, I only smoke the best.
Well, it is the best.
OK, you guys.
Don't try to get
rid of the smell.
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"The First Turn-On" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 24 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_first_turn-on_20223>.
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